I have been on drugs and I have faced addiction head on..  NO, I did not do drugs because I was bored.  To think having an exciting life, being intelligent, being religious, belonging to a middle class family, and having two wonderful parents will prevent your child from doing drugs.    You are WRONG.  I had all the above and it did not stop me from taking drugs.   

 I could have done anything and I could have been anyone, I had many great choices in life when I was young.   I was given many opportunities to "better" my life.  I wish it was that simple.   The truth is, I did drugs because I did not feel I belonged to any social group, I felt different, like an outcast.   I had everything... looks, money & intelligence, but I was different than most kids.  You wouldn't know it on the outside because I hid it well.  SO, I hung around other kids who didn't care who I was.  They were lost as well.  Some were nerdy, some were gay, some were geeky or dorky,  some were Bible thumpers, some where ugly, some were mix breeds, some were too tall or too short.... etc etc etc.  The thing we ALL had in common is that we felt society did not like us for who we really were, some of us did not like each other.. we had to hide.  It's easier to get high and visit a better place than live in a life of rejection and lies, we lied to ourselves and to others.  People can be cruel.  Especially if you are surrounded by bigots.   People teach their children to be bigots and children can be hurtful to other children as well.  THIS is why I hate bigotry and will not tolerate it in ANY form.   If you were to ask any of my friends, they will tell you I was the most popular girl in high school, but i was living a lie and I was not happy unless I was high.    Now you may say oh shucks Debi this is just YOUR story.  Well after I got clean, I worked on staff at a Rehab center for addiction, and guess what? it's EVERYONE's STORY once the truth comes out.   The very first thing we do to help addicted people, is to help them face the truth, their truth of who they really are. Then we go through the difficult task of helping them accept who they are.  It's our primary goal.   Bigots make this goal difficult, they are everywhere and they scare us addicts to death.    I have learned to LOVE who I am.  I don't care what people think.   You can see by the way I blog that I say what I feel at all times.  THIS is what keeps me sane and keeps me from wanting to do drugs.   Being honest and being strong will free you. Sadly it's hard to be strong and face rejection when a pill or a drink that will make it all better is just around the corner.

 So the next time you tell your kid,  Hey don't do that... it's stupid or silly or for sissys or ugly or etc etc..   YOU are helping them embrace drug addiction.   You should love your child NO MATTER who she or he is.  It is really that simple.   As for people who feel inadequate because they are poor...  I don't know how to help them.

Well, I have gotten  to the point in my life where I do accept myself, and don't give a rat's  you know what about what other people think.  On my days off, I'd be lucky to brush my teeth before I run into town! Maybe I need to work on that?

I don't like bigotry because it hurts everyone. I have been the victim of it too, just because I have nieces who are from an interracial relationship, and I have had 'The looks" like what are those (colored) kids doing with that white girl sort of stuff. It really burned me. It has even happened to me in this town, when I have them with me, hello, people wake up!

But for some, it's more than just that I think. Why do some people get sucked in and spend most of their lives in and out a rehab, while others can walk away from it and never touch the crap again?  

I think the most important thing is self confidence and you "feel" that from your parents.  I was in my mid to late twenties before I realized that I wasn't alone.  That I wasn't a freak or a horrible person.  I didn't want to be in my own skin.  I had mutilated myself physically and emotionally over and over again.  If anyone knew what went on in my own head they would hate me.  I met my best friend and realized, after a few years, that she was hiding the same type of feelings.  We joke now and say that our "darkness" is what attracted us to each other even though we didn't know it at the time.  Parents sometimes belittle their children without even realizing it.  I have been guilty of this from time to time.  But I apologize to my son.  So far I have raised him to have a voice.  Not to believe that everything he says or thinks is wrong.  And in doing sometimes I have wanted to pull my hair out because he is so independent and has more confidence in his little toe that I have in my whole body!!  Some people don't appreciate my son when he questions them.  Especially the ones who feel that children should be seen not heard.  There will be a day that I will have to explain to him about the mistakes I have made.  He will make too.  But I will be here for him. 

And I do believe that there might be some people that have a "addictive personality".  I've had my share of experiences.  I use to go to class drunk and drink in the classroom.  I was hiding. I was reaching out.  I was alone.  I was hurting.  I was covering up wounds (literally).  And most people would have been surprise to find this out about me in school.  I feel like I am one of the lucky ones...I have found my calling.  I have found in someone a complete confidant.  No matter what I do or think, she is there to tell me "I'm OK".

I believe there are many different forms of addiction, and in my opinion the most dangerous is self hatred.  Because that leads to others. 

hmmmm. very interesting. 

canibeyou...i watch intervention too.  Did you watch it Friday night with that boy using oxycontin?  Oh my God, it took me 2 days to stop thinking about him.  The horrifying part about it is hes gonna die!  Thats what will eventually happen if he doesnt seek help. 

Sparks...is that you?  Wow!!! I relate to 1st paragraph of your comment.  The only thing is sometimes the middle class families are just not as functional as everyone likes to think.  My parents loved me but they were not happy together, which left me on my own to make my own decisions and i kind of got lost in the shuffle.  My parents are wonderful people and they did the best they could under the circumstances, they didnt get the "how to be a great parent" manual either.

My story starts out at age 13, weed, alcohol you know the usual.  I can look back on it now and i realize, from day one, i used and drank to escape me...  plain and simple.  I never drank or used to be social i did it totally for the effect.  For some reason i felt like i was no body and i needed to become somebody....somebody else.  My whole life was consumed in one form or another with drugs.  IV meth user, heroin addict, pill popper, alcoholic, thats what i was.  Thats who i am.  My life has been spared one more time and the only reason i know i am able to stay sober is because i believe in God and i work the 12 steps.  I stay connected with people in the fellowship, i am of service and i help the people who are still suffering...from addiction.  I managed to raise 2 kids in my insanity and now i have a beautiful grandson who never has to see me loaded.  My life was built on bad choices and deceit and i have really worked hard to change, it is an ongoing process. 

Alot of people arent able to just "walk away from that crap", they die.  I am blessed, i am alive

ChristineFroehlich   The bigotry in this "Christian" town is the worst I have seen compared to anywhere else I have been.  But still, most of Tehachapi is very warm and caring.  The people I hang out with don't care who you are, what color you are, or who you are sleeping with.  To dislike someone simply because they are different shows the ignorance in even the most intelligent of people.  I surround myself with happy people..  And Christine, some of the happiest people I know are from Tehachapi... they are HERE.

Why do some NEVER get better and keep returning to rehab?   For some it's because they can't fully accept themselves, or the truth is just too painful for them to bare.   Don't forget, they must be very strong to quit.   When they get out they are most likely going to be faced with the same flipping people and the same rejection as before.  If they don't LOVE themselves for EXACTLY who they are and tell the bigots to shove it.   They will abuse drugs or alcohol again. For others, they simply cannot handle responsibility...   A job?   A commitment?  I'm too unstable for that, it won't work out.... and it probably won't.   Some people just cannot handle the simplest pressures of life.   These are the addicts that sadden me the most.

Jewels    Did your son ever get a copy of your beautiful story????     I was actually going to drop him off a copy but, I had a out of town emergency.   I was hoping somehow your son got a copy of your very loving story.

Yeah, insecurity .  No matter where it comes from, it encourages most of us to drink.   I was weak when I was younger, although I acted like the toughest person in the world.  I didn't understand that there was another way... no matter how often people tried to tell me my life could be better.   I just COULD NOT SEE IT.   I wish I knew back in my teen years what I know today about being honest and accepting myself and the situations that happen around me.

Growing up in a happy middle class religious family doesn't exempt you from abusing drugs and alcohol. Especially if you are expected to be PERFECT. No one is perfect.

If your friends do drugs your chances of doing drugs are much higher than if your friends don't do drugs.

Love yourself. Better yet, Love your kids and let them REALLY know it. Self esteem, self worth, plays a huge role in weather or not you will choose to abuse alcohol and/or drugs.

 I myself have never done drugs in my life. My friends and I had totally different views of what was fun. Hiking, camping, 4x4, movies, etc. Sure we may have been considered nerds to some, but we didn't care. We were happy with who we were.  

I have seen addiction first hand though. I have seen some who have just been able to walk away and some who still fight with it to this day. I'll tell you what I have learned though growing up in a "perfect" family. I will never be that parent that thinks," not my kid, my kid wouldn't do that".  We would all love to think that, but you just CAN'T! I will never put off or ignore the little warning signs that need to be addressed before it is way to late because I just didn't want to believe MY KID would get involved in drugs/alcohol. Just my 2 cents.

Oh and Christine, yes meth is a HUGE problem in Kern County.

Canibeyou wrote:   Sparks said:"The bigotry in this "Christian" town is the worst I have seen compared to anywhere else I have been."------ Wow. Why would you ever have the need to single out a religion and blame the religion instead of an individuals choice to act that way?   

 The reason the word "Christians" is in quotations is because they are not really Christians.  Real Christians like Jesus can not possibly be bigots as far as I know.   I wasn't putting down a religion, I was putting down the people in this town who say they are Christians and yet act more like the devil they believe in.      In the future if you see me put a word it quotes, there is a reason for it...  Next time you do not understand why a word is in quotes... just ask me about it.  I will be happy to explain.   Again bigotry of any kind is a horrible thing.. even when it's against a certain religion.   I don't have to embrace a religion in order to accept that others may have .   Please do not assume that simply because I am godless that I am anti religion.   And btw, Tehachapi is known as a Christian town .. look anywhere on the web for information on Tehachapi and it will say   Christian town.   lol