Okay, here it goes...this is not going to be a feel good, happy post.  So for those of you who needs a little "up lift" today, this isn't for you.  I first want to start out by saying I understand people are just trying to help.  I understand that people are just being supportive.  I understand that some people don't know what to say...I get it.  I appreciate all this, I really do.  But this is what really is on my mind.  These are the words I really want to say.  These are the questions I really want to ask.  I have had grief in my life before...I have lost many people.  So maybe it's all catching  up to me, or maybe I just don't have that one person to talk to anymore...my mom.  This is what I have been told ( with all good intentions mind you).

"Things will get better, it'll just take time"---- Really!  How?   How can things be better. 

"She is in a better place now"--- Yeah, prove it.  I don't know that.  Who's to say what is better besides her.

"It was her time, she is better off now." --- It was huh?  How can that be?  There is no one in this world she loved more than her grand kids.  She wanted nothing more than to see them grow into men.  Or at least to graduate.  She will never see the youngest go to kindergarten, she will never here "I love you Granny" from the youngest.  She will never know his love or he hers. 

"She was ready to go" --- Again, really?!!  How do we know that?  She didn't say goodbye, she didn't say she was too tired, she didn't say she didn't want to fight anymore.  In fact to the contrary...she was still fighting.  She still had her mind, her humor, her zest.  She was alone, not surrounded by family, just a cold, unfamiliar, room.  How is that for the best?  How is that what she wanted?  My dad and I were literally 10 minutes late....did we let her down?

I know people have lost loved ones.  I know people have lost children, and that is a hurt that no one can know except the ones who know it.  I know others have it worse than me.  I just don't know if I did things right.  Did I fight hard enough?  Did I see her enough, even though I had my own family to take care of (I know she wouldn't had wanted me to neglect my own, but that doesn't give me much peace at heart.)  Did I make her proud?  Was she happy with the person that I became?  Did we do all we could do for her?  Did we make any decisions in haste?   There was so much that I still needed to learn from her.  There was so much I still wanted to do with her.  I know to be thankful for my kids, and my family.  I know that is what my  mom would want.  Life goes on, and I know this all too well.  I put on that mask and face the world.  I am still mom, wife, daughter, friend.  I can sit and hold my oldest and tell him how much "Granny" loved him and was soo damn proud of him. I can tell my youngest how she loved him and stories about her and him together.   I can keep her graveside "clean" and "tidy".  I can and will spend a lot of time with my dad and help him.  I know I am not the only one but frankly I don't give a damn right now.  Time will "heal", will it?  Will I heal, can I heal?

Hey why is that we can't comment on stories or news or obits anymore?  Does anyone know?

For those of you who wax, you will understand fully and those who don't will never make this mistake.  Better go pee before you read this. Hair Removal... (I don't have a clue as to who wrote this, but....WHAT A RIOT!) All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the  wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)  So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire  With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!' There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?' She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...

 

Wow, that was quick!!!  I am glad I got to read your blog before it was gone!!!  I guess you used too many names and stuff.  But thanks for the info.

I have been blogging on here off and on for the past couple of years.  During this time I have read a lot of things about the TN, some good, a lot bad.  I just wanted to step up and share my story of my experience with them today.

My mother died 3 weeks ago.  My father wanted to run her obituary in the TN and the Antelope Valley Press.  We found out that the mortuary had to do this so we set it up.  Her obit had ran in the AVP a week ago, but I have been checking on this site and haven't seen anything.  So I decided to contact the TN via email but wasn't sure who to speak to about this.  I sent my email explaining all this and to please direct me to whom I need talk to.  So on Monday I sent it to the General Manager.  Then I started thinking and sent the same email to other staff, the editor, the Production Manager, the classified/legal person, and I think someone else, on Tuesday.  I got an response back from yahoo saying that one of the addresses I sent to couldn't go through.  It was one that I had sent a CC to.  So, not knowing too much about how it works I just left it alone thinking the other emails had been sent.  Well, I woke up this morning a little irritated because I hadn't received a response yet.  I decided to re-send but without the bad email address.  Within half an hour I received a response from the editors account saying that she was on leave to send to another address that was provided.  So I did, but was still a little irritated and was going to post a not so friendly blog or make a not so friendly phone call.  But within minutes of sending it to the address that was provided to me, I received two emails, one from the General Manager and one from an Ed Gordon.  Mr. Gordon asked if he could contact my phone so I emailed back and provided my number plus the mortuary's in case he needed it.  I expected maybe a phone this afternoon stating that I had to call the mortuary myself and so forth.  I got a phone call from Mr. Gordon not even 30 minutes later, apologizing for the mix up.  He had already called the mortuary and settled the problem--the mortuary had only sent it to the AVP--and then called me personally to let me know.  He is just waiting to received it from the mortuary and then he'll run it. 

So, my point being in all this is that as soon as Mr. Gordon was alerted to the problem he contacted me via email, called the mortuary, and then me all in less than 45 min.  And some of that time was me contacting him giving him the info through the email.  So it could have easily been taken care sooner but I don't have an alert when I get a new email.  I just go and look.  So I just want to give a big ole thanks to Ed Gordon for his professionalism and apology that frankly wasn't really his responsibility to give.  There are good people working at the paper, and yes no one is going to be happy 100% of the time with any paper or business.  I just want to say THANK YOU ED!! 

This is why I stopped coming on this darn blog!!!!!  I was chatting away with a few different people, not being mean, or vulgar or cussing or anything.  The blog was "The depot and my relationship to Stan Be.....".  Now it is gone.  The things I said.  I mean I know it veered off to "catching up" with an old friend, but why did it disappear?  Does anyone know or have an idea?

So on a lighter note then civil rights, religious rights, cloning, constitutional rights, etc, is anyone doing anything this weekend?  Going anywhere with gas prices so high?  Spending time with family or friends?  Maybe actually acknowledging those that have been gone?  We are going camping, swimming, fishing, tubing, playing on some Wave Runners.  We got flooded out of our first campsite we were going to go too....water too high, no swimming or boating or fishing allowed, not to mention sites being flooded out.  But we found another location with a boat dock and such.  We have already spent too much money on this "camping" trip but we need it as a family.  It's been a pretty tough 6 months or so with us.  Not to mention moving to a new state and not knowing anyone or just being out of our element.  Every year back in Co we use to get together with a bunch a people from all over and camp and ride bikes on this weekend.  My son has been getting better the past month or two, but he had been very "home" sick and missed his old life.  But now things are looking up for him and us carrying on this tradition seems to be helping.  Plus we are going with some new people we have been getting know for the past couple of months and of course they have kids too.  So we are really looking forward to this weekend, even though we could have probably went to some crowded amusement for the some amount of money we have spent already.  But what it heck, it's about family right?  Plus some of the items we got are for future uses as well, such as life jackets for the kids and us.  My only concern is this is the first camping trip my two year will be on that he is mobile.  So I'm sure I will come home with a few more gray hairs!!  And the joy it's going to be for him to be sleeping in the tent with us.  He is still in a crib so he isn't able to be mobile.  It should be fun and an experience.  So how about anyone else?  Anything you are looking forward too? 

I read awhile back about an incident at CCI involving some CO's and inmates.  Doesn't anyone know info on the injured parties?  I couldn't find any updates. 

Check out these links...it's heart breaking, but all too real.  Please be aware!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watc...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watc...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watc...

 

Okay, so today I went to walmart with my 22 month old son.  It wasn't planned but my doctor call and said she had faxed over a prescription because some of my blood work came back and I needed ASAP.  So, I changed my son's diaper, made a sipper cup and we hopped in the car and went.  My son loves to take off his socks and shoes at this age, as I am sure a lot of you can relate, so I just took him in his PJ's with the feet in them, you know the one's I am talking about.  Well, it is overcast and raining here so I figured that was the best clothing of course with a hoody on.  So I did some shopping for snacks for lunches and then went up to get my prescription.  I am standing there minding my own business when a women looks at my son and says "Nice outfit".  I smiled and said "excuse me?".  She then precedes to say to my astonishment "Don't ya think you could have put some clothes on your kid before you went out?"  I smiled again and looked around expecting to see someone I knew playing a joke on me....but nothing.  Not one of my shinning moments in life I said "Didn't your mama teach you that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all!"  She then looks in my cart and says "Your cart is full of snacks and junk,  maybe you should put some of that back and go buy your son some clothes".   Well, needless to say at this point I wasn't using my better judgment and said "Why don't you shut up, mind your own business and get life.  And while you are at it, go to a f**king dentist and get those teeth fix you in-breeded, backwoods hag!!"  Well, she left and I thought wow what just happened.  It is 11:30am not 2 in the morning and I have my kid in walmart.  She did by the way had rotten and missing teeth.  So next thing I know she comes back with a manager and security.  They ask me to leave because I was being threatening and using obscene language.  I told them I was not doing a thing when she came up to me and started talking smack about how I dress my kid.  The manager ask me if I used any foul language and I said "yeah you would have too.  But I never threatened her with physical violence!"  He said "Well I think it would be best if you just leave before we have to call the police."  I said "Fine, but unless you want a law suit I need my medication and I want to her to leave too, or else we can sit here all day long and wait for the police!"  So I got my medication and we both were escorted out of the building.  Now, I know my temper got the best of me and my mouth ran out of my a**, but come on what would some of  you had done?  I am still in disbelief that this happened.  I can't believe I was kicked out of a walmart!!

READ THIS - LET IT REALLY SINK IN - THEN CHOOSE .

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good
mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him
how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the
employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and
asked him, "I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two
choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to
be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood."

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I
can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept
their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose
the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away
all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to
situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's
your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower
Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about
him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious
accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was
released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.


When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd
be twins...Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone
through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my
soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I
remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could
choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked

He continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled
me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and
nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew
I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said
John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors
and nurses stopped working as they waited f or my reply. I took a deep
breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on
me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of
his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice
to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything .

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about
itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

I know this is old news, but what do you all think about that "Bounty" hunter dude getting into trouble for things he said in his own home?  Should he be fired?  Should his son get a swift kick in his butt for selling out the highest bidder?  Or do you think that this was something that the American people should have known about coming from such a well respected individual, fashion guru, upstanding citizen, and role model from a guy named "Dog".  I mean really.  I know I am being a little judgmental here, but did it really surprise anyone that a word like that would come out of "his" mouth.  Look at him.  Look at what he does for a living.  He isn't delivering flowers to little old ladies.  And the thing that I like the most about this story, is the exact reason he gave for not wanting his son to date the woman is exactly what happen.  It was a family matter not a national matter.  I mean really, I don't there is one person that can say they could have a video camera or a listen device in the privacy their home 24/7 and not offend someone.  Whether it be friends, family, co-workers, bosses, the church, etc.  It's not like he was making a speech or a televised event and said these things.  It's too much in my opinion.  Do I agree with him, no.  I don't even like the guy.  But that is why I have the choice not watch his show.  I don't go around crying that I don't like this guy and he needs to be sued.  If what he said was so offensive to a lot a people, which I am sure it was, stop watching his show and eventually the network would lose and pull it.  Stay out of his personal life.  Just my opinion. 

I had an little adventure yesterday.  I am not one to be dramatic about things.  But sometimes with my kids I just can't help it.  I know they fall, they get bruises and cuts and boo boos.  So I am not one to rush to the doctor.  Well, I was on the phone yesterday trying to get car insurance cheaper (btw, anyone with AAA might want to check them out....I am saving over $600 yr with more coverage).  My little one (21 mths old) had fell or slipped in the kitchen.  He heard the thud and he started crying.  He came over to me with his hand on his ear crying and comforted him and stopped.  I continued my conversation, which I have guilt now, when I got off the phone he was playing and being happy.  I went to check his ear thinking it would red, and to surprise he had blood coming out.  Not just a spot, but coming out of his canal down his jawline.  Now here comes the dark thoughts...he's going to be deaf in that ear, he has brain damage, he'll die, etc.  Yes a little over the top, but these are the scenarios I come up with.  I checked his ear for a cut but didn't want to poke into it.  Well, I rushed him to the ER thinking the worst.  And everything was fine.  His eardrum was intact and he had a scrap in his ear canal that skin was completely gone.  Since I didn't see him fall, I didn't know if he fell on something or if he fell off the chair and hit his head so hard his ear was bleeding.  Well, did I over react?  Should I have had waited to see if the bleeding would stop, because it did by the time the doc saw him.  Or are there other over protected parents out there that would have done the same? 

Alright everyone, it is that time of year, it's cold and some people don't have jackets.  We all on here preach about love and caring, it is time to stop talking and take some action.  Lets go into our closets and get at least one coat and donate.  Especially children's.  They grow so quickly and so many do not have a warm coat.  I am not sure where to take your donations, but sure someone can find out.  We blog here from all over, so lets spread some warmth all over.  I do this every year, in fact one year I had to take them up on their offer and needed a coat for my little one.  But, I have in the past even went to second hand stores and bought coats and donated them.  So lets help and keep these babies warm Ok.  BTW, I don't know if the schools out there do this, but one of my son's schools use to donate the Lost and Found jackets every six months or so.  We would get papers sent home, reminders in the newsletter, and announcements at any school function to remind us to look in the lost and found because they will be donating the items.  I really thought that was a good idea.  And everyone had plenty of warning.  Anyhow, back to my original thought, get off your butts and donate!!!  Again, especially those of you that have younger kids, that no longer can wear last years coat.  Lets make a difference. 

I woke up this morning in a absolute excellent mood.  I normally have to spend a couple hours to get myself in a good place, but not today.  I don't know why, but I am not looking a gift horse in the mouth.  Just wanted to spread my good cheer with everyone out there.  Here's a BIG SMILE and HUG to y'all.  There are some real good people on this site, and I woke thinking about all of you and know who you are.  But even the ones that I disagree with, have a great day and smile.  There is always tomorrow to be grumpy.  Spread the cheer today.  Say hello to a stranger, wish them a good day.  I talked to a few old friends yesterday, and life is so good.  Life will always be turbulent at times, but be thankful for what you have and what others in your life have.  Damn, it's nice not be bitter!!  So, to ALL, have a great day and hopefully it will expand into the weekend. 

A Different Christmas Poem



The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.

My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,

My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.





The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,

But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the

sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,

A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.





A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

'What are you doing?' I asked without fear,

'Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!

Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,

You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!'





For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light

Then he sighed and he said 'Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night.'

'It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,

That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,'

Then he sighed, 'That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers.'

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',

And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,

But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.





Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,

The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

I can live through the cold and the being alone,

Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,

I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,

Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and a ll,

To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.'

'So go back inside,' he said, 'harbor no fright,

Your family is waiting and I'll be all right.'

'But isn't there something I can do, at the least,

'Give you money,' I asked, 'or prepare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done,

For being away from your wife and your son.'

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

'Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,

To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,

To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,

That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.'





PLEASE, Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as
you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our
U.S.service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.
Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people
stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for
us.





LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN

30th Naval Construction Regiment

OIC, Logistics Cell One

Al Taqqadum, Iraq.

Hey what does it mean when a thread is locked?  I mean obviously you can't comment on it, but who locks it and for what reasons?

A Great Idea!!! When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following:         & nbsp;  A Recovering American Soldier         & nbsp;  C/o Walter Reed Army Medical   Center         & nbsp;  6900 Georgia Avenue, NW         & nbsp;  Washington , D.C. 20307-5001 If you approve of the idea, please pass it on to your e-mail list.

Okay here it goes.  I don't usually put "family issues" here but I just don't know what to do and there are many of guys out there that I have come to highly respect your opinions even thought I might not agree 100%.  But here goes.  I come from a family of alcoholics...mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, etc.  I know it.  I lived it.  When I was a kid friends did not come to my house.  I didn't want them too.  I only had one friend that would come over because her dad was an alcoholic and she understood.  So people mistook me as shy or withdrawn or weird because it was just one friend...especially in high school.  I know I have a tendency to drink too much.  I have many times.  But I am afraid of that beast so I know my limits.  I know I can't drink too much.  I have two kids and I WILL NOT have them live like I did.  There were many things that could have been avoided in my childhood.  I will not have my children feel the way I did.  Anyhow,  I married a 26 year old man two years ago.  He is a good man.  He provides for us.  I am able to stay home with the kids and wouldn't be able to do that without him.  He works really hard.  He took on a lot when we got married....an instant family (I had a 4 yr old), mortgage, insurance, kid stuff, etc.  All he had to worry about before was his truck payment, and insurance payment.  So I know his life changed.  I warned him.  We would go out, go to friends house and drink all night, etc.  I had always told him during that time that this person he sees out is just a part of me, but when I am at home with my son, I don't drink.  (My parents would take my son on the weekends)  He knows my history.  I know that I am hypersensitive to drinking.  I have told him this.  But I have also said I will not let my kids be affected by drinking.  Well, he likes his beer.  I like my beer.  But the difference is he has three to my one.  Just tonight he drank 8 beers in 2 hours.  This isn't unusual.  He can go without for days, even weeks at a time.  But once he has one he doesn't stop.  I just had a conversation with him 3 nights ago about how I am getting concern about the drinking again.  We have had many conversations.  I truly don't care if he has one or two beers a night, but six to 8 is too many.  Frankly I don't know what to do.  I don't even have a problem with us drinking too much once in awhile.  I don't have a problem with him drinking 6 to 8 beers on a Saturday (the whole day, not just hours).  I have to tell him when I go out to do something with my eldest "Don't drink too much while I am gone."  I know I am a little paranoid.  But what if the baby gets hurt and he is on his 6th beer?  He shouldn't drive.  If the ambulance comes and smells alcohol then what then?  I don't know if this is right or not, but I am two different people.  When my parents have my kids, watch out, I can be a party animal.  But when my kids are home, I don't.  Am I being hypocritical?  Am I being paranoid?  Am I being a bitch...it's ok for me to do it sometimes, but not him?  And again, I have had many talks with him about this.  What is it going to take for him to "hear" me?  Should I just not have alcohol in the house?  I know each person is different on how the wind down or relieve stress.  But I don't know why he has to have so many?  I probably do know, I just don't want to acknowledge it.  Any advice on how I can get through to him? 

Subject: WHAT THE WORLD IS MADE UP OF

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up
$46.64 charge. I gave
her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave
the money back to
her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY
favor. She became
indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what
she was doing, and
returned the money again. I gave her the money back
again...same scenario! I
departed the store with the $46.64. This actually
happened in Austin at
MoPac Boulevard and Parmer Lane.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free
coupon for a Grande
Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a
little chalkboard
that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already
buy-one-get-one-free,"
she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me
my free Lattes and I
walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends
when one of them
shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at
the sky and said,
"Where?"
They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real
estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't
want the sun waking him
up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the
north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the
east, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep
up with that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call
center. One day I got a
call from an individual who asked what hours the call
center was open. I
told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a week." He
responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to
end the call
quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to
cut through a seat
belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the
cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2
cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a
20% discount.
They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area,
so I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my
bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained professional
and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your
plane arrived yet?"
They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he
would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6
pieces."
Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They Walk Among Us, AND they reproduce, and WORST OF
ALL...............they
VOTE!

Today is the anniversary of the man who gave me one of my greatest gifts in life.  It doesn't matter the circumstance or how one has died.  What is important is the mark they have left on our lives.  The memories, the good times shared.  How are lives might have been different if this person had never been in it.  I want people to share a story or just say a quick statement on ones they have lost---only if you want.  All are welcome.  This is not a post to discuss our differences but to embrace a common thread most of us all have.  To all of you that have experience loss--we all are connected.

D-- I miss u, your son misses you.  He is looking more like you everyday.  I don't how he can be so cute and looks just like you =).  He is growing up to be a great person and so smart.  He challenges me to be a better person everyday.  He went bowling yesterday, I thought it was fitting,  you would have been proud.  By the way, he  watches the Three Stooge's weekly.  I guess he gets more from you then just your looks!  Keep them laughing up there, Ok.  Always in my heart and mind.   This Bud's for you!!!

I'm Free Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free I'm following the path laid for me.  I turned my back and left it all. I could not stay another day to laugh, to love, to work or play. Tasks left undone must stay that way, I found that place at the close of day. If my parting has left a void Then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss Ah yes, these things, I too, will miss. Be not burdened with times of sorrow I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow. My life's been full, I savored much: Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch. Perhaps my time seemed all too brief, Don't lengthen it now with undue grief. Lift up your heart and share with me, I have been set free.

We love and miss you, your loving family, companion and friends.

When it is bath time in my home, it is play.  I've had people tell me this is wrong.  My question is Why?  It's not homework time, it's not dinner time, it's not church, etc.  Why is this wrong?  Why can't kids have fun in the bath.  I started this with my son and partly it was because of me.  I was a single mom and this was "our time".  He continues to play in the bath, he's 7, obviously not with me anymore.  But he still has his bath toys and pretends to be in the ocean or whatever.  Even when he is being "big" and takes a shower, he sings and has fun.  Now I am married and my husband is one of many that doesn't understand.  I don't understand his reasoning.  I ask and he says "My mom didn't allow it.  We got in, got cleaned and got out."  My response is always "okay, why does it have to be that way for us?"  He thinks I am just being difficult.  But he's not the only one.  We have 18 month old and I do the same with him.  He has his own toys and we play.  Am I not seeing something here?  Please give me some opinions.  Why is this wrong?  What does it hurt? 

I have been off the net for a few months now and just got back on.  I was getting very upset reading and catching up on what is being blogged.  I was wondering what had happened to the bloggers that I had left.  Normally there was some structure to the discussions.  Sometimes it got heated, but a good debate and a compromising ending, mostly.  I wasn't seeing some of the faithful bloggers like shane, prettytrippy, blaze, gregl, sparks, jewels, luvmykatz, aero, etc.  Things were getting a little out of control right before I left but not like what I have been reading here.  And so many new names.  But my faith got restored after reading a few posts from kmj and bigdog.  Common sense is looking like it's making a come back.  And it looks like lori is trying to keep up a good fight. 

DOES ANYONE KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, AND IF SO WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS  ON THIS?

guess I will not be drinking Starbucks any more.
Recently Marines in Iraq wrote to Starbucks because
they wanted to let them know how much they liked
their coffees and to request that they send
some of it to the troops there.
Starbucks replied, telling the Marines thank you for
their support of their business, but that Starbucks does not support the war,
nor anyone in it, and that they would not send the troops their brand of
coffee. So as not to offend Starbucks, maybe we should not
support them by buying any of their products! I feel we should get this out in
the open. I know this war might not be very popular with some folks, but
that doesn't mean we don't support the boys on the ground fighting
street-to-street and house-to-house.
If you feel the same as I do then pass this along, or
you can discard it and no one will never know.
Thanks very much for your support. I know you'll all
be there again when I deploy once more.

Semper Fidelis
Sgt. Howard C. Wright
1st Force Recon Co
1st Plt PLT