Well, these certainly are some tough ones.  Here are my thoughts on the bullying issue.  I think it's wonderful that you are open minded regarding the reasons behind the other child's behavior.  There are many people, such as your mother, that don't hold that view.  I think it is most important to open a dialog with the other child's parents, and hopefully they will be open to it as well.  Nothing good will come out of the situation if his parents aren't willing to discuss it.  If his parents take the view that it is just the usual 7 year old behavior, then you're probably dead in the water.  If his folks take the view that their son must be punished, then the bullying may stop, but the real issue wasn't addressed.  I know there are folks that won't agree with what I'm saying, in fact I'm sure my father is rolling over in his grave saying something like, "All that boy needs is a good swift kick in the..."!  Anger and emotions don't solve anything, start with discussion.

For the second issue, I think it is unfortunate that the teacher said what she did.  Because, really, that is her PERSONAL view on the subject, and a 7 year old is not old enough to understand that different people can have different views on the same subject.  It would have been better had she deferred opinion on that subject to you, saying something like, "You should ask your mother about that."  Go talk with her and find out why she said that.  It may have been inadvertent, but it probably did more damage than she realized.  She should leave her personal opinions to herself. 

I want to thank you for being open minded about life issues like you are, we need more of that in the world!

Bullying at 7 years old, that is a little young. But I can see it happening. Nothing surprises me now a days. But it is a serious subject and needs to be taken care of NOW before the child gets older and things get worse. And by you taking actions with the teacher and trying to solve it in a civil manner is great. Lets just hope the child's parents are willing to work the problem and solve it.

I agree the teacher should not of said what she said and she should keep her opinions to herself. I am thinking that maybe she did not realize what she had said. Sometimes it can be a little hard to watch every word we say. I think i would let it go and then if it happens again then i would approach her and discuss my concerns.

Okay, here comes my non PC answer because I'm a non PC guy. There are a few steps to take IMO. First, give diplomacy a try. It sounds like you are already doing that by talking to the teacher. If that doesn't help then it's time for a chat with the kids parents. Like Greg said that could go a few different ways and you're not assured of getting positive results from that. If more action is necessary it's time to get physical. Tell your boy that he is allowed to fight back. You have to be prepared to take the consequences of this step however. Fighting at school is dealt with by suspension of all parties involved regardless of who started it (not sure if that applies to kids this young but it may). I'm not saying this lightly or without experience. I gave my son permission to protect himself at school. He did and the problem stopped. Luckily the skirmish was not in the view of any teachers or staff so there was no disciplinary action....case closed.

As for teachers talking about sexuality to their students, I think diplomacy is the answer again, but don't go beat her up if she doesn't change!

Colitas, unfortunately by 7 years old, bullying behaviors can be well established for most kids. They learn the behavior as early as 3 if it is not addressed by parents and teachers or caregivers. You definately need to talk to the teacher about the young bully, but my guess is that there is a parent/s who have allowed the behavior to evolve  or possibly ignored it  out of frustration. Some parents are actually afraid to disciipline their children in a misguided effort to let the child express themself. With legislators trying to make it illegal for parents to spank their children, this is not surprising.  But extensive research in human development strongly supports that children seek direction through discipline. It is called exploring boundaries, or as many parents call it, testing (the parent's) patience.
Here is a link I hope will help you and your son. stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp  
As for the teacher, you might just keep monitoring things before you mention the issue. You need her cooperation and you said she is a great teacher. Your son will accept your explanation and act as you do - at least for another 3 or 4 years.     

Thanks guys - I know I was long winded, and it's hard to weed through the true questions.  I was wondering if this child's action constitutes bully as my mom believes.  I however didn't.  But I just wanted other people take on it and not just my own.  I don't sometimes parents or people wait until it's to late to take action.  I just didn't want to be blinded by my own "interpretations".

Blaze - Yeah non PC answers aren't always welcome but I do.  But that could be because I agree with you.  I do teach my son to stand up a fight if that is the last result...or sometimes the only way, even if it's for someone else.  Does anyone know Kenny Rogers "Coward of the County".  And he does know that he will have to suffer the consequences of his actions but more than likely he will not be punished at home.  He might have to make up homework or whatnot.

As for the school teacher, I agree that just wait and see what happens.  I did explain to my son that was her opinion and not necessarily the "Right" thing.  I expressed to him that if he was ok with it, then that is ok.  Like I said before, I like her as a teacher and maybe she didn't realized what she said.

Thank you all

Coward of the County is a great song but always makes me cry.

I was thinking about your situation and found some good web sites that you might be interested in I remember being picked on as a kid and didn’t like it much. I went through a little phase around 7^th or 8^th grade that I started to pick on less defensive kids because I got picked on by older kids. I didn’t remain in that stage for long because it felt wrong but it is a vicious circle and if the children can be stopped and taught to have tolerance of others when they are young it’s a step in the right direction. There’s a good chance your bully might be harassed at home by older siblings and this is what he has learned I think a meeting between parents is a great idea. If you all can talk it out and come to an understanding without pointing fingers at each other then who knows things might turn out for the best. Good luck.

“If you understand bullying, you can help to stop it. A bully just doesn’t become a bully and they’re not born that way. A bully is usually being bullied or abused at home. They usually have self-esteem which they got by being a victim. Bullying is learned behavior, and what’s learned can be unlearned. They don’t have to continue the cycle.” Love our children USA http://loveourchildrenusa.o...

“What is bullying? Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims.  It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion.  Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.

http://www.focusas.com/Bull...”

 

KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER International http://www.kidpower.org/ind...

Thanks for sites guys!