Personally, I don't like the idea of the whole pageant circuit. Dressing those little girls up to look like women is not right in my book but to each their own.

How can you say they were indirectly responsible for this crime based on the fact that she was in the pageant circuit alone? That makes no sense to me.  I am sure there were hundreds of little girls in her circuit and simply because they were involved with pageants they didn't end up with the same fate.  Being that you really have no idea who did this to her, you have no idea if the pageant involvement played any part whatsoever in her demise.

As for your comment "How can anyone judge and say one child is prettier or more talented than the next?" I think that happens quite easily. (isn't it the exact same premise for American idol-who is better than the rest) The world is a competitive place, even for children. Some children have a lot of talent, some have a lot of training, some have none, the distinction isn't that difficult to make. Does that make it right? Should children be judged so critically?Of course not, but it happens.

Too bad you couldn't just ask the kid. Give 'em a horse, a dog, a buddy to hang out w/, throw some lessons in there, garden w/ them, build fences, etc. Build a bird house, take 'em to a play, see what they like & go for it!. Kids these days have got to be so confused, that they don't even know it. Where are the "Pimp Daddy's?"

I don't know if the parents were directly responsible, but I have to agree that the pageant scene is pretty disheartening. I think that many of the mothers are living vicariously through their poor little girls. Sure, I guess some of them probably do like it, but what does it tell them when they get dressed and painted up like miniature playmates, put in false teeth, sing dance, and still they are told they aren't good enough. What does that tell them about their "normal" selves? I watched a program about pageant children and their parents.....it sickened me. These people are spending thousands of dollars on costumes, mouth pieces, false lashes, makeup, and hair!  They will bleach their little girls hair because it is more appealing to the judges!! What ever happened to natural beauty? My daughter has the most beautiful dark hair....I can't imagine bleaching it blond for the life of me!  Why not put these girls in a dance class, acting classes, or cheerleading, if they want to preform? Why parade them around in front of judges? I don't know the whole thing bothers me.

Exactly lori and CG. Why can't kids just be allowed to be kids?

As for American Idol, I don't waste my time watching idiotic shows such as that...and once you're a mother, Smokey, you won't want anyone thinking (judging) your child isn't the cutest, smartest or most talented.

Joty, we have found common ground on this topic, I too dont think these pagents are a good idea, let little girls grow up being kids, dont paint them up and parade them around like little lolitas, have you seen the stage moms at those shows on TV?, their crazy,

Yes, I did catch one of those shows by accident (channel surfing - stopped) - couldn't believe those women were "mothers".

Now, don't go agreeing with me on too many things SB1, that takes the fun out of it.  :)

I knew a "pageant family" when I was growing up, but it was nothing compared to the spectacles called pageants today.

Back then, Miss America was the ultimate of pageant scenes. There weren't the hundreds of different pageant cricuits like there are today. Most of those operating today are money-making schemes only. Every child gets a trophy. The parents spend thousands of dollars to buy their kid a 6 ft. dust collector.

Back then, daughters dreamed of following in mom's footsteps for Miss America. The mom I knew had actually represented Kansas for Miss America in the '50s. Her daughter also competed in her time, & I'm positive any daughter she may have had was also brought up in the culture. Sure, their little girls dressed up for fun & played for hours with their Barbies as beauty queens. That was all there was, at the time.

But something happened with Patsy Ramsey's generation. Once they'd had their "day in the sun" competing in pageants, they couldn't wait for their little dolls to grow up. It's women like Patsy that created the whole "for profit" pageant competitions. Once it became profitable, the monster was released from the box.

I used to have a certain amount of respect for the pageant girls. They were in it for the recognition, but they also used the winnings for school, and their fame for charity. that's not what these *little girl beauty contests* are geared to do.

But did this have anything to do with Jon Bonet's murder? I doubt it. The whole case is riddled with horrible coincidences & misleading evidence, and incompetent handling of it all. It was more probably one of the many workers they'd had in & out of the house over the previous few weeks. Transient workers & all that. I hope they catch the bastard.

I would rather have the ugliest daughters who were smart, and self confident, then the most beautiful pageant winner who couldn't put together a complete sentence to a simple question like "“Recent polls have shown that a fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?”

Luckily for me I have two, smart beautiful daughters!!!!

Personally I think anyone for any reason who would dress their child as a sexy adult in public is STUPID. The idea that parents don't get the FACT that pedophiles love to look at children as a sexual objects with visions of performing sex with them is beyond my comprehension...ugh, it's too creepy for me not to think about.   What are they thinking..  "Oh, there are no pedophiles in this crowd I'm sure of it."..  Morons.

BUT, as for the Benets being at fault for their child's death, or whether pageants should be illegal....  NO, that would be kind of like saying  if an adult women dressed liked a slut and was raped and murdered that it was her fault.  We should all have the right to dress ourselves and our children anyway we want without being raped or killed, and we do have that right.  Women and children get raped and killed no matter what they are wearing.  I dress in levis and T-shirts all the time.  A lot of people think I'm a lesbian.  lol   Heck, I even walk with my hands in my pockets half the time, and I have been raped.  I certainly will not feel any shame or feel that I am at fault about being raped. Sometimes we do stupid things, we even put ourselves in dangerous situations without thinking as I did and the Benets obviously did.  One out of four females in America have been raped, most may not talk about it, I'm just more open about who I am than most. I certainly cannot condemn a women for wanting to dress sexy because she wants to attract the boy she has a crush on, or her boyfriend, or even her husband.   Some women like dressing sexy, it makes them feel good about themselves, they certainly get more attention and compliments from both men and women when they do so.  This doesn't mean they should get raped, or killed, or that it is their fault.  Being self-absorbed or wanting attention by entering your daughter in a beauty pageant and dressing her up as a sexy adult woman doesn't make the killing of Jon Benet the fault of her parents either.   It just makes them STUPID, like anyone else can be at times.   I'm sure they regretted it after the fact, and trust me, they paid a HUGE price for their STUPID mistake.

I don't care how anyone chooses to dress themselves. I was probably one of the first to burn my bra back in the day. How they dress their children is another story. I don't believe parents should have the right to dress little girls like street walkers, unfortunately, they do have the right (this goes hand in hand with my argument about having to have a license for a dog, but any fool can procreate).

I merely voiced my opinion in believing that indirectly, the mother is responsible. I hope they catch the person who killed Jon Benet as well. Then maybe we'll learn whether or not being in the public eye dressed as a little tart is what caught this pervert's eye....  

I even detest the commercials for those throw away kiddy underpants that show little kids with them down around their ankles on a toilet!

Joty, I don't watch American idol either. I hate that show. I was only using it as a comparison,

As for your comment about  when I am a mother , Of course I wouldn't want anyone judging my child. Just because I don't want them to doesn't mean they wouldn't. What I was saying was, if I chose to have a child in a competitive environment like Jon Benet was in then I would be fully aware people are judging my child.  That is what competition is whether it be a pageant, acting, dancing, singing, sports etc..  Do I think it's right to put that amount of pressure on kids? Do I think it's fair? Of course not, but it does happen.

Aughhhhh, how can you not love American Idol...I love Simon....LOL, Ok...bigdog has told me numerous times that my man finder is all f*ed up....

I raised 3 girls, I always dressed them pretty much conservatively.  I love t shirts and jeans.  When they were little I'd dress them in cute little girlie dresses.  What I couldn't stand was all the little mermaid, beauty and the beast, lion king, on and on clothing.  It seemed like you couldn't find anything unless it had a big plastic mermaid on the front of it.  I've always taught them to keep it simple.  Now that they are grown...I tell them jeeze, if I had your body again, or those boobies, I'd be showing them off.

My daughter loves dresses. She's very much a girly girl..............I feel bad because I hate dresses and skirts and I notice I tend to pick out her clothes as I would my own. I will NOT by skirts unless they are skorts, and I even make her wear shorts under her dresses if she's going to be playing in it. Girls clothes these days are pretty scary, but you can normally find enough modest stuff if you look for it. I'm amazed at how short the shorts these days are..........I hate them. It's been beat into my brain since I was young to "cover it all up"!  I didn't own a bikini until I was 18 and even then I felt uncomfortable at times wearing it. Who knows maybe it's because growing up if my shirt was even showing the tiniest bit of my stomach my mother was tugging on it, and I'm talking even after I was married! lol So yes, I dress my daughter pretty conservatively........heck, she's not even allowed to own anything associated with those darn BRATZ dolls.

Ah now it's BRATZ huh?  My sister has a 4 year old daughter and I notice she is always dressed in shirt and pants.  I'm assuming for the same reason you mention Countygirl.  Everything is so short.  My step daughter is 14, when it's time for clothes we don't give the clothes money to her mother, I have one of my daughters take her shopping.  Her mother tends to buy her whatever she wants.  My girls monitor between what she wants and what is more appropriate for 14.  I know if I were to take her, she'd hate what I picked out and would never wear it.  I'm waaaaay too old for a 14 year old daughter in this day and age.  My 12 and 14 year old son are much easier to buy for.

Sparks, I totally agree with you.  I'm a t-shirt and jeans gal myself.  The only time I wear "short" shorts (not hot pants, but shorter than the bermuda-style I prefer) is when I'm working out or playing softball.   So rare is the skirt/dress thing that I wore a dress as a gift for my brother's Sherrif's Academy graduation, lol.  He was suitably impressed (as were my parents).  I'm not against dresses or skirts on others, I just don't feel comfortable in them personally.

I am glad that you seem to have a healthy attitude about what happened to you.  That is the worst thing that I could ever imagine happening to me (short of losing a close family member).  I am a virgin and saving myself for my future husband, and I thank God every day for having had black-belt friends in college that taught me to defend that ultimate gift of love.

The over-sexualization of our whole culture is terrible.  Even if their parents don't choose sexy clothes for them, a lot of kids would probably pick them anyway because everything around them tells them it's cool.   Hollywood puts in "relationships" (usually just sex) in movies without needing it for the plot, simply because it draws people in.  There is too much sex everywhere, and we'd be fools to think that doesn't affect our kids...or us.