May is almost here, and with it comes Mothers' Day. Though Mothers' Day has been around for centuries, it was in 1914 that Woodrow Wilson signed the Joint Resolution to establish an "official" Mothers' Day, the second Sunday in May, here in America. A single white carnation was usually the token. Then greeting card companies and florists took over and turned it into Spend Lots O' Money To Show Mom You Love Her Day.

From Easter to Mothers' Day I think about my mom a lot. Easter was her middle name, Easter 1994 was the day she placed a neat pile of throw rugs on her kitchen floor, lay down on them and put a bullet through her heart. Part of me understands why she did that, part of me is still so very angry that she did that, and the missing her never goes away. We didn't always have the best relationship, arguements and disagreements were as many as the good times. I could speak ill of her, no one else could including my three brothers. She was funny, charming, artistic - and a pain in my arse. She had the greatest loudest laugh. She made me chocolate toast. For years she got up each morning and made biscuits by hand for breakfast - there was always one special one each for me and my younger brother. She instilled in me a love of books and nature. She cost me a much wanted job at the then Grauman's Chinese Theater. I worried her sick when I ran away from home to join the hippy movement to San Francisco (I made it as far as Hollywood, the cops arrested me and returned me home as I was a minor). I wish I had written down all her recipes, her childhood stories. She was beautiful, but saw herself as ugly, especially as she began to age. She developed a brain tumor when I was pregnant with my second child. The surgeon was a butcher - turns out it was his first operation - and she was never the same. Depression set in, she isolated herself. She divorced my step-father who was so wonderful to her to live alone. We tried to get her help for her physical ailments, never realizing we needed to help her mental one. When her PCP told her she was an old woman and would have to live with her health problems, she spiraled completely to the bottom of despair. Though I never saw her cry - a single tear rolled down her cheek the day I told her I was moving to Las Vegas.

The phone call from my brother is forever etched in my mind. All I could do was scream. We didn't get to say good-bye, we didn't get to tell her we loved her one last time. I told her often though, every time we spoke. I am so sad that she missed out on the births of the younger of the great-grandchildren, and sad that these kids never got to experience "Granny".

Her death wasn't in vain. My two uncles who had been feuding for years shook hands and spoke at her funeral. My children's step-mother wrote me a beautiful letter to make amends as we'd been on the outs for a while. And my father, never verbose or good at showing emotion, from the day my mother died never failed to say "I love you" each time we spoke - same with my two older brothers.

There are still moments when I think - "I need to call mom and tell her this." I do talk to her, I hope she hears me...

So I guess my message is if you're lucky enough to still have your mom around, let her know just how lucky you are, and that you love her. Call her...the sound of your voice is 1000x better than flowers or a card!

The election for the Board of Directors of the Sand Canyon Volunteer Fire Department is right around the corner. If you are a member (dues paid in full) and are going to vote - there are two people who are running that should not be allowed back in. One is an original founder who made a huge mess of things (like never obtaining the 501c3 - it was just last year that the status was applied for and received, yet claiming to be one for 10 years; and never obtaining Workers Comp) and walked away. Now that things are looking up - he wants back in. He is running for Director from Section 4 against Chief Bender. The other person is in Section 5. He has quit three times since I've lived here (2 years) - please don't vote him in again, he or his wife (usually the wife - she says jump he says how high) gets angry and they walk. He is running against Don Maples.

If you live in Section 5, please vote for Don. In Section 4, Bill. SCVFD may stand a chance of sucess if these persons are voted in.

Ok, someone pass me the salt and pepper, maybe some catsup. I'm going to eat some words here...on May 7th, Nelle (Ellie) is going to be "fixed" by Dr. Billingsley. Depending on her weight (Nelle's, not Dr. B's) it will be just over $100.00 or just under $100.00 with the voucher ($40.00). I just want it done, soon, she's young and can go into heat again.

I stopped in at Canine Creek and got three tags at the Tag-a-Thon. Two of my dog's are chipped, but a tag adds to my comfort zone just in case they decide to do an "Incredible Journey". I will get Nelle chipped soon also.

Today Nelle is in the "slammer". She just cannot resist chasing my poor cat who finally has started venturing down to go outside. She's holed up in the loft of our shop since Nelle arrived. My cat is in excellent health for her age - 13 yrs, but I'm sure she had two of her lives scared out of her today...

Boy, we need some competition for the Tehachapi Animal Hospital up here! I really like them, the staff and vets are great, but they are just plain and simple too expensive.

Nell (Ellie) is ready to be spayed, milk all dried up and teats back up. The cost at the hospital for her is $180.00+. I simply can't afford that. I won't use Billingsley, but that's another story.

Can anyone recommend a low cost spay/neuter clinic somewhere close by? Quick, before she goes into heat again!

I was channel surfing the other night, in awe of the gazillion (ok, so I exagerate a little) stations we are now privy to since my husband took the plunge and ordered DirecTV. I grew up without television - I'm sure that's where my love of reading comes into play. And for the past two years, living up at the end of Sand Canyon, we were lucky to get 5 fuzzy channels - all depending on which way the wind blew our funky little antenna. So anyway, I came across a station that would have made both my sweet little grannies arise from thier graves just to die all over again. It was a shopping network that was selling sex toys for men and women. I'm hardly a prude as were my grannies, but jeez looweez do I really want to see 12" dildos or brilliantly colored vibrators with attachments called rabbits on my television?

Ok, I'll confess, I had to watch for a few minutes. I grew up in the 60's, the age of free love and all that jazz, but some of these "toys" just blew me away - and dang it, I couldn't find my credit card!!!  :O

Many times over this past month I have asked the question "what was I thinking?" What the hell am I doing with a teenager at my age? The energy is boundless, she sleeps 12 hours a night, is up at 6:00 a.m. wet nose in my face, ready for the new day. Oh, I am referring of course to Nell (fka Ellie), my four-legged teenager. I proudly annouced to Leslie last Saturday that she was finally responding to her new name. HA! Let me rephrase that - she responds to her new name when it suits her, like chow time. I am happy to report that I took a deep breath and let her off the leash. I'm an old hippy and I believe in the "if you love something, set it free..." ditty. She ran and ran and ran - but she stayed in a large circle around our property. She knows where home is.  We built a large pen, but she was miserable - Border Collies were not meant to be penned up. Funny thing is...now all she wants to do is be where ever I am - trailer, office, craft studio. If I open my car door - in she jumps, loves the car rides. She still runs, but seems to have gotten most of it out of her system. We are almost at the end of Sand Canyon, dirt roads, no traffic. I don't let her out after sundown or before sunup, we have a pack of coyotes who sit outside and call...."Meescha, Nell, Daisy, Liliiiiii, come playyyyyyy..."

She did go missing for a short period one day. I called and called, as I approached our construction site I heard a noise. I began searching among the piles of lumber and stacks of plywood. Sure enough...she had chased something in between a pile of lumber and a door that was propped up against the pile (all covered with a tarp) and had gotten stuck - face foward. The noise I was hearing was her tail wagging when I'd call her name. She couldn't go forward, and couldn't figure out how to back out (she must have been a blonde in a former life - sorry Susie, lol). My husband had to move the door and lift her out. She at least had the courtesy to look embarrassed.

Just like a teenager, she doesn't understand money. In less than two days she threw away $16.00. My husband bought her a huge rawhide bone (this dog can chew through ANYTHING regardless of what it is made of!). I opened it, handed it to her and out the door she ran with it, it was never to be seen again. I'm sure the coyotes are enjoying this unexpected treat. The next day I bought her one...same thing. Another gift for the coyotes. She's not a chewer of things forbidden, thank goodness, she just buzzes through everything we've bought her - well, except for the rawhide bones.

Because we live in a "camper", I was putting her inside my craft studio/future guest house at night. I knew she wasn't happy about it, but she never barked or cried. About three nights ago, I wasn't really paying attention, and right about the time I normally would take her out, she silently snuck over to my side of the bed where she curled up on the floor - now this is a camping trailer mind you, and she is 50# of dog - I would be screaming from claustrophobia, she just curls up and goes to sleep. My husband came in and thought I had put her in for the night. I just laughed and pointed over to the sleeping area. I can hear her nails scrabbling on the wall when she turns over, or she kinds of grunts when she changes positions in that tiny space. Anyway, that's where she now sleeps - in the trailer with the rest of the pack.

Happy news in the sibling department! Both my little dogs have realized the interloper is here to stay. The Chi actually plays with her, attacks her and follows her around - the real Mutt and Jeff, lol. Nell doesn't realize her size, and likes to pounce. Once in awhile I hear the Chi squeal, but she gets up and goes back for more. The Dox will sort of play, and will sleep next to Nell, but still doesn't like her near me. Best of all - MY CAT finally emerged from the shop loft where she had taken up residence since Nell arrived. She actually stalked right by her, growling all the way, but Nell, good girl that she is, just sat and watched Meescha after I told her no to chasing her. lol, she wanted to chase that kitty soooo badly. 'No' is iffy...sometimes she obeys, other times she just gives me the look - like a teenager.

I've discovered that she may have been harshly treated. One day I picked up a newspaper and she freaked. Couldn't get out of the trailer fast enough. Same thing this morning when I picked up our barbecue spatula and a cable.

She is exasperating but oh so lovable...and happy!