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LuvMyKatz - > -> Diary of Dogs vs. Cats

Diary of Dogs vs. Cats

I got this email this morning... I thought I would share everyone... It made me think of you Weebles...

* Excerpts from the Dog's Diary *

8:00 am - Dog food!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

8:25 am - A car ride!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

8:32 am - A walk in the park!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

8:41 am - Sniffed another dog's butt!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

9:37 am - Got rubbed and petted!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

9:54 am - Nap!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

1:05 pm - Milk bones!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

2:12 pm - Played in the yard!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

3:08 pm - Chased my tail!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

5:00 pm - Dinner!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

7:32 pm - Got to play ball!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

8:00 pm - Watched TV with the people!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

8:57 pm - Rawhide treat!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!!! (My favorite thing!!!!!!)

* Excerpts from the Cat's Diary *

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of inedible dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the horrid rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In yet another attempt to disgust them, I vomit on the carpet.

This evening I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I'd hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of my captors and many of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the feast. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am now convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is often released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is quite obviously stupid. The bird has got to be an informant. I regularly observe him communicate with the guards. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now.

More to follow.

~Author Unknown~

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Posted in these Groups:
Topics: Just a Joke............

posted by LuvMyKatz on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 at 10:38 AM
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Viewed 188 times

7 comments from 7 users

posted by eekitsaspider on Mar 21, 2007 at 12:29 PM

That is cute luv...And very true!! lol

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posted by mimi on Mar 21, 2007 at 12:35 PM

Oh, god. The cat part is hilarious. I bet they really do think of us that way. lol

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posted by samheath on Mar 22, 2007 at 06:47 AM

A friend and I strongly suspect cats are really space aliens. When I asked the resident cat about this she returned a scowl.

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posted by farrinna on Mar 22, 2007 at 07:57 AM

Love it, just loveit...I love cats!

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posted by ZU on Mar 22, 2007 at 09:36 AM

Oh MY goddness...hmm Now I really do think my 3 cats are out to get me.. LOL :).. but although they may be trying to kill me by being under foot all the time..I still love them dearly. :)

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posted by jewels on Mar 22, 2007 at 09:54 AM

thats why i love dogs

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posted by LuvMyKatz on Mar 22, 2007 at 10:31 AM

It makes wonder now what my cat >^..^< is thinking...... As she sits on my sholder at 3:30 in the morning peering down at me as she purrs........... I thought it was because she loved me soooooooooooooooo much ! But now I'm having doubts.

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