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the way I see it

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TK - > the way I see it -> What Did Your Child Learn Today?
What Did Your Child Learn Today?
Dear Parent, what did you teach your child today?  When you were driving your cherub to school, did you teach by example that traffic laws need not be obeyed?  When you came home with supplies from your place of work, did you teach that stealing is okay if it's something small?  When you cut in front of the guy who wasn't looking, did your child learn it's okay to be rude if you're in a hurry?  When you laughed at the sexist or racist or fat person joke, did your child learn it's okay to make fun of someone who is different?  What else did your child learn today?
Posted in these Groups:
Topics: children, parents, ethics
posted by TK on Thursday, February 8, 2007 at 09:32 PM
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posted by luvmy2girls on Feb 9, 2007 at 12:22 AM
Let's see...on the way to school my child learned to obey all traffic laws and also that her mom loved & cared about her and how her day goes. On the way home from school she learned that her mom loves her and cared about the things she learned in class, the people she played with on the playground, and how she feels in general. When she got home she learned that despite the fact she thinks she's old enough, her family cares enough about her to supervise her while she climbed a tree & rode her scooter because we live in a world that simply isn't safe. When her dad got home from school she learned that he valued quality time with her as he included her in doing even simple things. At bedtime she learned that getting plenty of rest is good for your body and soul, she learned it's important to take care of your teeth so that you don't end up with removable ones later, and she learned that it's important to take a few moments of your time to thank God for all of his blessings. And that is what I taught my child today:)
posted by Blaze on Feb 9, 2007 at 08:07 AM
I wish I was as good a parent as Luv. I'm afraid I'm guilty of at least some of the things TK talks about although I think my kids have learned some good from me too. Even before TK wrote this blog I have often wished I was a better driving example to my kids. I don't want them to be so uptight about "idiot" drivers. There's an old country song by Alabama that goes "I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun.  All I really gotta do is live and die But I'm in a hurry and don't know why." That's me! I should have taught my kids to slow down and smell the roses. I have begun a slow change but I fear it's too late since one is 19 and already driving (taught in part by me) and the other gets his permit next month . LOOK OUT TEHACHAPI! Another new MALE about to hit the streets!! I also have to admit that I laugh at and even tell jokes that poke fun about others. That part I'm wishy washy about though. Because I also teach them to laugh about their own peculiarities. They know by how they were raised that we are not better than anybody else, fat or skinny, tall or short, black, brown, white or purple. And so to joke about our differences and perceived stereotypes I think is OK. Just being honest.
posted by Sparks on Feb 9, 2007 at 08:39 AM

Blaze... not to change the subject but when you mentioned a song by Alabama it reminded me of a friend of mine.  She was always in a hurry as well.   She rarely had time to enjoy life because,  well.... there was just too much work to do.   Anyway she died of cancer a couple years ago at the age of 48.   I'm In A Hurry by Alabama was her theme song and we played it at her funeral.    So enjoy life big boy...  take time to just sit and breath in what's around you.

As far as making fun of people...  My sister and her snobby friend Carol come to mind.  All these two do all day is rag on people's appearances.  "Did you see what she was wearing?  My God I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress!"    "Look how fat that woman is, she looks like a beached whale in that bathing suit"  "Did you see that girl kiss that other girl   eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww".  "What was that???  I would have that surgically removed."  etc. etc.   They are such idiots I have to laugh at them...   Sadly their children are the same way.  

I suppose it's kids like theirs that hurt other kids.   I was lucky; if anyone made fun of me, I would tear them a new butthole, plus I was cute and considered cool in school.   However, I do remember the look on some children's faces when they were made fun of.  I can remember the pain in their faces while the kids that made fun of them were laughing. Being cool meant I had to laugh with them, or so I thought back then. I can only imagine what affect we had on these children.  I know I will always regret it and I wish I knew better back then.  Perhaps we should be teaching our children that there is no getting away from insecure buttholes like myself, we should be teaching our children how to deal with kids who learn to tease from their parents and their peers.  I just do not know how to teach a child that when someone calls them ugly or gross to not take it personally.   We will always have stupid people in the world and we will always cause pain to others.  How and when does it stop???

posted by dp4 on Feb 9, 2007 at 08:43 AM
Well, unfortunately my son learned today that Daddy's don't always come back.  My son woke up this morning with another dream of his Dad who couldn't beat the demons within himself and took his own life.  Sometimes we have to laugh in order to cry.  He remembers a "Woman" joke his dad used to tell and laughs.  Not because he understands the joke but because he remembers his Dad smiling and laughing.  He remembers an impression his Dad use to make of a Middle Eastern Man and his Camel and laughs.  He doesn't hate Middle Eastern people.  I teach him that people make mistakes and we learn from them.  I teach him tolerance for the person who is rude, or in a hurry, or just mean because we do not know what is going on with them.  I am not a religious person in some people's standards, but I have morals and I teach them to my child.  We have to be silly sometimes when things are hard.  To me this teaches my child we can get through anything.  I am guilty of telling jokes but I teach my son that we are all equal as human beings.  We all are different in some ways.  So today why don't we let a stranger cut in line and say have a nice day.  Let that stranger pull in front of you or turn first.  We assume and rush to judgement everyday with people.  We don't know what their day is like.  They might have just lost someone or found out they are very sick or even dying or their loved one.  Sometimes our attended is diverted.  We need not to rush to judgement and be thankful that we are still able to "Teach" and tell silly jokes to our children.  How many of us have brought home a pen from the bank or a grocery store clerk?  I agree with TK that our children are watching and learning everything we do.  So be care but also be humble.  And say Hello to a stranger.  It could mean the world to them.  I heard a story one time and i will try and make short.  A man was riding a bus and on this bus there another man with two kids who were loud and jumping and carry on.  The first man was getting angrier and angrier and couldn't believe that the father thought this behavior was ok that was disrupting everyone else on the bus.  The father was just staring in front not paying attention.  (we all have seen this, in the store, on a bus, a train, a plain, a doctors office)  So the man confronted the father and gave him the riot act on his children.  The Father looked up and said he was sorry that his wife had just died and he didn't know what to do.  This is a true story.  So I will get off of my soap box now, but remember we get so caught up in our own lives that we forget other people have theirs.  So sometimes we do wrong, but Mommy or Daddy are just human like everyone else.  No one is perfect but everyone can learn and change.
posted by eekitsaspider on Feb 10, 2007 at 11:14 AM

My children have learned that their Mom and Dad love them very much and no matter what we are there for them. They have also learned that even the smallest accomplishment to us is a huge accomplishment. Even if my younger son attempts to say a word he gets praised for trying his best.

There are alot of things i have taught my children and still need to teach my children. I just pray to God that i am doing a good enough job!!

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