I suppose I would have told her that Santa doesn't have that kind of magic, that his is to make the reindeer fly and get the toys delivered in one night.

I think like Joty I would have given some explanation about Santa not having that kind of magic.

Santa is one of the joys of childhood for many kids. I think it's perfectly fine to let them have that fantasy. By the time they figure out the truth, they are usually ready for it. Why rob your children of that joy and mystique?

Whether or not you decide to play along with the Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy children’s stories is not particularly important. What matters is that you teach your children the values you want them to have.

I agree with Smokey on this 100%.  I really don't think I've met an adult that was scared for life because they found out there wasn't a Santa Claus.  Parents "lie" to their children all the time...whether you want to define it as "white lies". "omission", "their not old enough to understand", etc.  When my son's father died, due to the circumstances, I did not tell him the truth.  I did not tell him the details.  Now as time went on and he ask more questions I told him the truth, but I sure don't elaborate.  There will be a time when he ask me straight out, and he will know the truth.  But because of my omission I do not think I am a bad person.  Let kids be kids.  And lets not forget the true "Saint Nicholas".  Many adults believe he existed and he was a man made of flesh and bone. 

I have a funny story that applies to this.  About the magic even as we get older.  My parents took my son the Santa Claus, In last weekend.  Well needless to say with town named Santa Claus, my son was excited.  They have a Candy Shop there that Santa is there all year round.  But this time of year they do special things.  They have a room where the kids go in and sign a "Naughty or Nice" book and so forth.  They talk to him, etc.  Well, my parents walked in with my son, and my dad feels this tap on his shoulder and he hears in a deep voice "wow, I haven't seen you in awhile".  My dad turns around and he said he got chills.  He was looking at Santa.  This man is as real as they come.  There wasn't nothing fake about him.  Now, my dad knows there isn't a Santa, but he said he couldn't help but the that one brief moment of awe.  That quick moment of childhood and innocence came rushing back to him.  He said he even stuttered at first.  And of course my son was watching the whole time.  =)

I cannot imagine as a child growing up and knowing that Santa was not real.. Believing in Santa left alot of wonderful memoires. Now I have the chance to make new memories with my children that I hope that will stay with them forever. I also have a 40 year old mentally handicapp brother that still believes in Santa and I absolutely love that!!!

My daughter is very observant so I have to admit that I'm surprised this isn't a question I've dealt with yet. When she was 4 she told me she didn't believe in Santa because "they" don't look they same. She was talking about all the different ones she had seen on TV and in the stores etc. She knows that the Santa's you take your pictures with etc. aren't the "real" Santa just his helpers.  I 've thought about it and decided to tell her that Santa can only make so many toys and that each child is only guaranteed at least one and that we donate presents so that kids who's parents can't afford presents can have more than one. This of course works for us because we give our kids presents from Santa and from Mom and Dad. Plus, GIVING is what the season is all about! :)

I can't imagine growing up not believing in Santa. I was upset when I found out he wasn't real but I got over it. It was never the same after that. I still wish I believed in Santa! :) We don't do the Easter Bunny. I just think believing in a giant bunny is stupid. At least Santa Claus is based on an actual person and events.

I think explaining to a 4 year old that Santa has many helpers & giving toys to the needy is what Santa asks for Xmas every year might be a way to go. I'd expect that little girl to be one of the early non-believers, to be sure.

My belief in Santa mostly just faded away over time; there really wasn't one "Ah-ha!", traumatic moment for me. But once my parents caught on that I didn't believe anymore, they made sure to include me in keeping my little brother a believer. This made me feel grown-up & included in family issues. I think this type of "family inclusion" was one of the guiding principles my parents had, since their kids' ages spanned almost 19 years. There were always different levels of conversation going on, so as a kid we each graduated from one level to the next as we grew older. Rather than each of us growing up separate from our siblings (we were all at least 5 years apart & never attended the same schools, for instance) this fostered a great friendship between my oldest brother & me, even though he was 14 years older than I. How many teenage boys are truly interested in a little sister always trying to tag along?

I say there's not much harm in Santa Claus (or the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy) for little kids as long as once they start to clue into the "fantasy" aspect of the tale, the parents don't continue to push the false belief. A rich fantasy life for children is so important, but denial of reality is destructive.

The boy's question was basically a restatement of the question "if God is good, why does he allow suffering in the world?".  Its a good question, and that is a preocious 4 year old.  Lots of theologians have answered it, (C.S. Lewis in The Problem of Pain, for example) but the fact that most people maintain belief in God amidst suffering demonstrates that we&nbs p;are comfortable with the concept in practice, whatever our intellectual problems with it might be. 

Saint Nicholas was definitely real, he was the bishop of Myra (in present-day Turkey) - and he died December 6, 343.  He attended the Council of Nicea.

Several legends are attached to him - one is that a butcher murdered three children and threw them into a curing barrel.  Nicholas realized the butcher's crime, confronted him, and brought the children back to life.  Varients of this story are believed to have formed the basis of the English legend, Sweeny Todd.  (coming soon to a theater near you!)

Another is that he threw 3 small bags of gold into the house of a poor man to allow him dowrys for his three daughters.  For that reason, pawn shops are traditionally represented by 3 golden balls.  Variants of this story have him doing this once a year for three years.  One year, to frustrate the father's attempts to discover and identify him, he dropped one of bags down the chimmney where it landed in a stocking one of the daughters had hung up to dry. 

 

 

Progesso, I read up on Saint Nicolas as well, I guess he was really into fornication!!!  

He is NOT who we are talking about.  We are talking about the Santa Claus that was invented in tradition.  The cultural Santa Claus... you know the fun one with all the reindeer.  Quit messing around you BRUTE.  lolololol

btw my sister was born in Turkey while my father was stationed there, I remember cobbled stone roads, camels and dancing bears with funny hats.

OK, so here's what I would say....Santa does have magic.  His magic is all the helpers he has all over the world.  Some of his helpers are Toys for Tots, Church organizations and volunteer helpers.  They are special helpers who help Santa bring joy to the kids who don't have alot.  Santa has 1000's of helpers not just the elfs.  It takes a whole team of helpers all over the world to make the joy of the season so magic.

So...one Easter my son found the bags of items for his Easter basket in my closet.  He asked me why it was there.  My quick thinking (which I thought was pretty good) told him, The Easter bunny stopped by on his way home the other day and he was sooooooooo tired and his arms were so full of goodies, that he asked if he could just keep the goodies for your basket here until Easter.  That way he could make it home much easier and not be so tired..... Story worked! Easter bunny survived one more year.  I know when i found out there was no Santa (or so they tell me, personally I believe) I didnt for one second feel like I was betrayed by my parents.  I understood, even at that age, that they were trying to keep the holiday tradition alive.  At least that's the way they explained it to me.