GPS? HMMM!! Now that is a thought... I was thinking of a camera attached to his body somehow without him knowing about it.. He is more than 5  miles away he works in town and we live in Alpine Forest. 

Gube I think a meet and greet would be really cool maybe one of us should blog that and see how many of us would be willing to do it and maybe we can get a day and time to do it. I would love to meet several others on here in person ( even you gube)... 

I never cheated on my ex-husband (we were married for a year), however I was rarely there for him when he needed me.  I was obsessed with my career and I placed everyone, including my friends in front of him.    He loved me very much, so he tried to hang in there with me.  Although I was a self-absorbed a**, I could still see HIS pain.  I'm not proud of how I treated him, I suck at being married.  I wish I understood this about me before I became involved and hurt someone I love.  

 " Love doesn't make you happy".  I would tell my husband, "You can love me and be miserable, or you can find someone you actually like and be happy".   He's happy today and I miss him at times. 

Relationships are about compromise, give and take, and not just loving, but liking your partner a very lot.   If you still love your husband and you feel the bumbling idiot still loves you... I am very happy that you two are trying to work it out.  Good luck to you both.

eek, Sprint/Nextel wireless offers this handy little service called "Sprint Family Locator".

If you and your husband both have (or get) Sprint/Nextel mobile phones managed from the same account and you sign-up for the service, the GPS device in the phone will tell you where he is at all times. They market it as a way to keep tabs on your kids, but I'm certain you wouldn't be the first person to sign-up for it to keep tabs on your husband's whereabouts. http://sfl.sprintpcs.com/fi...

Good luck to you and your family. It will take a lot of hard work and time to rebuild the trust that has been damaged in your relationship.

When I was in Barnes & Noble a few weeks ago I saw some books on rebuilding relationships and trust after infidelity has taken place in marriage. I'll try to look them up and give you the titles, which you can probably get used copies of from www.amazon.com for much cheaper than B&N.

Here's what I found at www.bn.com and www.amazon.com :

Love and Betrayal by John Amodeo

Surviving Betrayal: Hope and Help for Women Whose Partners Have Been Unfaithful * 365 Daily Meditations by "Alice G. May" (pseudonym)

Straight Talk About Betrayal: A Self-Help Guide for Couples by Donna R. Bellafiore

Infidelity: A Survival Guide by Don-David Lusterman (this book has very positive reviews and there are used copies available from Amazon starting at $5.82)

It looks like all of these books are available from both Barnes & Noble and Amazon. There are reader reviews on both websites that may help you determine which books, if any, you may want to purchase.

Again, good luck to you and your family.

Thanks for the info on the books. I have ordered them and a few others off of amazon and they were all pretty cheap. I got 7 books for under $20, including shipping. 

Things with the two of us seem to be going pretty good I just have ALOT of trouble with trusting him right now. I have a source that told me that he was meeting the other woman at an apartment complex  every day for a couple of months while he was suppose to be working.  This other woman is suppose to be this church going person  I think she honestly hasn't learned nothing when she does go to church, because if she did she wouldn't of slept with a married man. No morals or values with this one at all, I kinda feel sorry for her and I hope that someday she can get her life in order for her sake and for her kid's sake.

I REALLY need to get myself to a councelor!!! lol 

I really hope that you take the time to sit down once your emotions have leveled off some and really take a look at the situation for what it is/isn't.

Everyone has some cute ideas on GPS tracking and such. Although those things could bring you piece of mind to some degree, there are always ways around that. I had a co-worker who had GPS on her cell phone, her husband did not trust her and would use that to keep tabs on her. Well, she'd come to work, turn off her phone, and leave to go to her boyfriends. She'd come back to work, turn it on, and leave to go home. According to the GPS, she surely was at work the whole time. Her husband had no idea the antics she was up to. To have to check your  spouses email/cell phone bills/track his where abouts.........that's no way to live or to love.

If someone wants to cheat, there are endless opportunities. Take one look at the daily postings on craigslist in casual encounters and you will see lots of married individuals looking for some action, lots of immoral people looking for something on the side.  You can find it if you want it, just about anywhere, even a small town like tehachapi. Opportunity can be at every corner, if you're looking for one. The reality is a sad one, there are many people who do not have respect for marriage, whether it be their own or someone elses. These days you don;t even have leave your house to find the opportunity.

I really have to applaud you for staying and trying to work through these emotions and issues. It's hard as hell to leave a place / relationship you have become comfortable in but it is even harder to stay.  No doubt it will  be a hard battle but if you are willing to stand up and fight for what you want/believe/need then more power to you. I hope that it all works out the best possible way for you and your children. I am sure there are more than a few of us here sending out prayers for you and your family.

Thanks smokey... I am going to fight for this marriage and give it my best shot, I did not marry him for a short time I married him for a lifetime.. I am committed to my marriage and my family and I plan to give it all I have. I know I have done alot of wrong in our 11 year marriage but I know I did nothing to deserve this and to be disrespected this way. I have been nothing but a good wife and a good mother to my children, I make mistakes and I learn from them and not do them again.  

In all honesty I am really tired of getting the short end of the stick in life and from now on I am going to change that and turn it into positive for me, my kid's and my marriage because we deserve it.... 

eek, you are very wecome for the references on the books. I really hope they help.

I understand your dilemma about meaning your promises (or, your vows) but not being willing to be trodden upon by someone any longer. I think you're right to turn that into a positive for yourself and for your family.

I hope you can find someone in town to talk to... for marriage counselling, AND just for yourself. And of course, to make sure the kids are all okay if they're of ages that they understand what has happened and what you and their dad are going through.

I can't tell you enough times: good luck! There are a lot of people out here pulling for you.

OMG... I think I know who the other woman might be.  How long ago was this affair?? 

Ragmop, because I am a nice person and have morals I will not state her name, besides I only know her first name. But this "affair" one nite stand happened on June 2nd between 3:30pm and 4:15pm and supposively only happened one time and will never happen again. My husband stated to me that it was a huge mistake and that he loves me and wants to work out our marriage. And so far we are both doing an excellent job!! I am very proud of him and I cannot believe how strong this has made me....

Thanks riceme that means alot to me... My 3 kid's ( esp. my boys) do not have the mental capability to understand this at all. When my husband was gone for 2 nite's my youngest son was very upset and gave me alot of problems he could not understand why Daddy wasn't here. My oldest son knew I was upset, he sensed something was wrong and he knew his Dad was to blame but he did not know why. I had Hell for 2 days to say the least!! Not only was I upset but my kid's were also and had no understanding as to why and they probally would never understand why, they just do not have the mentality to do so. 

I hear you, eek, you don't need to say her name (nor should you on a public forum), but with your description I definitely know who she is.    I hope for your sake that it's over, but keep your antenna out.     Trust has to be EARNED by the offending party and it takes a long time and lots of effort...  

eek, I am so sorry to hear all this.  I haven't been around lately, personal crap as well.  But I am here for you.  You have my email.  Only if you just want to rant and it doesn't make sense.  Even if you just want to vent silly shit that you don't want others to take seriously or the wrong way....I'm here.  I am glad to hear you are trying to work things out and not go completely on emotion...which is hard and makes you a strong person.  Hang in there and I am only a computer away!!

Just a quick update on how things are going arround here. We start counceling on Monday ( Thankyou again Job for the reccomendation). I seriously need this counceling and maybe some prozac!! LOL My nerves are still shot and I have never been so scared in my life about my future. I still am not eating normally and sleeping is still a problem. Makes me wonder sometimes if this is really worth it all? I know I have to be strong and I pray to God everyday, sometimes several times a day asking him to please give me strength for this and guide us in the right path. I just need to have a little more faith and be a little stronger sometimes, but it is a really hard thing to do at times.

Not Prozac, eek, you need a couple of weeks of Xanax. When I was going through a major life change, I wasn't eating or sleeping either. I went to my doctor & she prescribed it for me. It's something that will take the edge off, for sure!

I didn't have a problem giving it up after a few weeks, either. It's not as bad as the media makes it out to be.

:-)

BTW, does your hubby know about this blog? I know I got into some hot water with my mate after I posted some personal stuff on another message board a couple of years ago. He found out about it & freaked out.

Just sayin'