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jewels - > -> wonder what hubby is doing while you shop?
wonder what hubby is doing while you shop?
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was
like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get
out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.



Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the last six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed
below and are documented by our surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

. July 2: set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's bathroom.

4. July 19: walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. Sept. 14: moved a "CAUTION--WET FLOOR' sign to the carpet department.

7. Sept 15: set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: when a clerk asked if they could help him be began crying and
screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Oct.4. looked right into the security camera while he picked his nose.

10. Nov. 10: while handling guns in the Hunting department, he asked the
clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. Dec. 3: darted around the store su&@$$iously while loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec. 6: in the Auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by
using different sizes of funnels.

13. Dec. 18. hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: when an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed fetal position
and screamed, "Oh no, its those voices again!"

15. And last, not least, on Dec. 23, he went into a fitting room, shut
the door, waited a while, and then loudly yelled, "Hey! There's no
toilet paper in here"
Posted in these Groups:
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posted by jewels on Wednesday, October 17, 2007 at 04:21 PM
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9 comments from 9 users

1

posted by sushisoo on Oct 17, 2007 at 04:27 PM
Tears jewels. I'm in tears I tell you. LMAO.  
posted by madkow2747 on Oct 17, 2007 at 04:30 PM
Eww... tomato juice!!!  That's so foul!!!  (when I worked at a department store, we actually had the last one happen... bbbblllaaahhh!)
posted by GINGER on Oct 17, 2007 at 04:45 PM
Jewels-that's hilarious!i love it!
posted by countygirl on Oct 17, 2007 at 05:17 PM

That was great jewels!  I loved #11 !! lol  Thanks for the laugh!

posted by jewels on Oct 17, 2007 at 05:32 PM
for some reason...i can picture olivia getting this letter regarding bigdog ;)
posted by teresr on Oct 17, 2007 at 07:47 PM

Poor bigdog!  Great blogs today!  LMAO!

posted by bigdog on Oct 17, 2007 at 10:36 PM

ruff  ruff

posted by olivia on Oct 18, 2007 at 05:06 AM

Jewels, you seem to know "bigdog" well.  As you know, I've been trying to keep him on his "leash".  He is happy that I've lengthened it some lately.  Yes, I could definitely see him doing some of the things mentioned above.  Hence, the reason for the leash.  You should see what he does to the huge squash in the produce section of our local supermarket.  Girls keep an eye out while you are shopping in produce.  You are sure to find him someday.

posted by Colitas on Oct 18, 2007 at 05:18 AM
I have a funny story about my dad....I used work in a grocery store and my dad had the horrible habit of roaming.  He used go by produce and get a grape or two and eat it.  Sometimes they would buy a bag and he would take a few.  After I started working at the store and told him he can't go that.  We he is a creature of habit.  So one day my parents came in and I told him about the cute looking little habanero peppers.  I told him that they are really hot.  Well being the smart ars that he is, he took one and popped it in his mouth.  He turned so many different colors.  Well, needless to say he didn't "help himself" to anything else after that. 
1

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