Jewls you have definitely been on my mind since I found out how bad it really is in San Diego.  Which sucks because it has been so pretty in Tehachapi the past couple of days.  And the moon is full right now and looks awesome at about 6a.m.  And I sympathize with your "findings".  Scary stuff.  And for this to happen right now while it looks like you have entered the gate to hades with that red creepy glow at night and the musty dark ashy days.  But... when it rains it pours!  It seem like when one bad thing happens you always get that domino effect, damn karma!  My heart goes out to you.  I'm glad to hear that you did not loose anything in the fire.  Besides, those "woman" doctor's visits always suck.  So uncomfortable.  Let's hope Nov. 5th goes a little better.  Keep your chin up, I'm sure olivia and bigdog will cheer you up soon!

Jewels you are in my prayers. no really I'm sure that its nothing I'm the same way off to the worst case scenario. Every time i get a headache i tell Olivia that its either a tumor or a brain aneurysm and she calls me a dumbass. I just know that one of these times it is going to be a aneurysm and going to die and I'm going to be right and Olivia is going to be wrong.It gets old always being wrong i want to be right once, unfortunately I'll probably have to die to be right. Jewels we go back a long way and you are a Friend so if you need anything, anything don't hesitate to ask. Olivia and I are here for you. Knowing you your probably wearing out the serenity prayer :)

thanks big dog...i will take that as an I love you....right back at ya!

Jewels, crap girl I thing something is in the air...no pun intended.  I was bitching and complaining because the guy that we bought our house from hasn't returned any of my phone calls.  He seemed like a really nice guy, always helping, but needed to pick up rest of his "trash" from the property.  He also accidentally broke the glass door to our oven, so he was replacing it.  So we haven't had a oven since we moved in.  Anyhow, I was calling almost daily getting very irritated.  I had just told husband that I am getting to the end of my rope with patience.  His wife called not 15 minutes later apologizing and said that he went into the hospital for a routine surgery and had complications.  He was pretty much on his death while I was being a bitch.  He is getting now but I felt so bad.  Then about 3 weeks ago I found out that my sister-in-law has cervical cancer (she's 26 years old raising 2 kids single).  Then two days after that found out that that my friend in Co has throat cancer...IT JUST SUCKS.  I so dearly hope that your tests come back with good news.  Keep us posted.  Most of us don't "know" you, but in my opinion we are all part of this dysfunctional "blog family".   You are in my thoughts and my own kind of prayers.  Please keep that chin up and the humor.  I myself joke about things at the most inappropriate times.  On a good note, I won't get into the long details, but I couldn't get a hold of a friend of mind for over two years.  We were very tight.  I honestly thought something might had happen to her.  I tried getting hold of family, check various records.  She travels alot, but it's not like her to not get back with me for two years.  Anyhow, I finally got a hold of her yesterday....and she is ok.  We have a lot to work out, because appartantly  I had hurt her very badly, not knowing I did.  But, even if I can't get our friendship back, and am very happy alive and well.  Again, take care girl and if there is anything I can do in "cyberspace" let me know.  I am on the other side of the country but I will do whatever I can for ya.  And that goes for you too GregL if you are out there.

Oh some more news on a happier note....a friend of mine that has had problems carrying a baby to term is about to adopt a little boy.  She has had many miscarriages, but hopefully by the end of Dec she will be holding her bundle of joy finally. 

yeah...I too had cervical cancer in 1997.  That is why this "finding" is kind of scary.  Thanks you guys for your support...LOVE TO ALL

I hope all goes well for you, jewels. My mom had breast cancer & survived 10 years, without much treatment past mastectomy. Nowadays, the outlook is very good even if yours is serious. But with the fire & shtuff going on too, you must be a wreck!

Take care & stay safe...

[spam code: DAYLY]

Wow Jewels, as if all of the fires aren't enough, you have this to deal with too!  Hopefully all will be OK, but I know the waiting is difficult.  Good luck and keep us posted.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Colitas, thanks!  All is good here, the fire blazed past my neighborhood and off into the hills.  They now have it contained and no structures were lost here. 

Thanks GregL...I am already planning my next entry of Dear Diary...its kind of fun :). 

These situations are impossible to deal with.  I feel so bad for you jewels.  Been there and am currently there with a diagnosis of melanoma .... sweet.  They're gonna cut a hunk of my right temple out.  Can't wait.

Here's the best I can offer:  Positive thinking jewels ---- surround yourself with the color violet.  Not very scientific, but it seems to help me find some peace when bad things start to pile up.  And I'm a big fan of deep breaths.  Sounds ridiculous but honestly, it sends additional oxygen to your brain which in turn, has a calming effect.

Now, good news should you need some surgery.  They can really do amazing things with the boob area after surgery.  Should that be required, make them explain all the "cosmetic" processes available and usually covered by insurance. 

Not that you need to think about going there yet ..... For today, I send you my daily share of peace and calm.  I have many good thoughts (surrounded in violet, of course) going to you also. 

Hey Jewels.....dammit.  Bad news sucks.  Anxiety sucks.  I hate it when I have to worry about things.  Lori is right, deep breaths.  I used to tell that to my kids when they were nervous about shots or school, or anything.  I'd tell them BREATHE!!  Anyway.  You know, I've seen a lot of women having to get mammograms.  A lot of times they are for repeat/follow up.  Sometimes, they have to get Ultrasound done.  Very few come out with serious problems.  Look at it this way.......With those big ol boobies of yours, there's bound to be some kind of mass of something, damn girl.  When I get my mammo done, you can see my feet.  I know this is serious, and I know you can't help but worry.  I had a pelvic come back positive for cervical cancer.  The doctor herself called me at home and told me.  Scared the crap out of me.  A little procedure though and it was over with.  So,  I know you are nervous.  All the drama with the fires have you a little vulnerable feeling. You remember,.... you have a lot friends who love you, and respect the hell out of you.  Just another glitch in life that's all it is.  You're a strong girl and you'll be fine. No matter what.  You know that.  No matter what. OK?

I JUST HAD TO EDIT THIS DAMNED COMMENT OK??? "BIGDOG" NEVER SIGNS OUT.  REALLY PISSED ME OFF AND MY FREAKING PERIOD IS DUE SOON.  SO REALLY.....I'M NOT IN THE FREAKING MOOD TO TYPE ALL OF THIS OVER AGAIN.  SO YESSSSSS, THIS IS OLIVIA TYPING UNDER JACK a** BIG DOGS NAME.  Love you Jewel. Olivia!!

thanks you guys....i promise my dear diary next week will be light hearted.  I figure if I lose a boob, my other one is big enough to make 2 new ones..:)

i LOVE YOU OLIVIA..