Thanks GregL and Sparks for the words of encouragement I am such a worry wart sometimes even my mom is saying just let her be and relax, but all I can see is that same kid coming home and going into her room to vegetate from the world of responsibility. She doesn't drive and I think thats the clincher right there I can't tote her around all over town and we live out by the prison so there is no bus that comes that way. So basically I have told her if she plans to come home she will HAVE to learn to drive no excuses period....heck I even told I would give her my old car let's hope that's an incentive to get over whatever reason she has not to want to drive..

Sparks its funny you mention the love of a father. I remember the day my dad walked out the door never to return I was 7yrs old, I guess being a dad and having responsibilities was just to much for him to handle. I never heard from or saw him from that day I don't know if he is dead or alive; to me he died that day. I never thought about him much growing up and I don't blame any of my problems on his leaving. I had my rough spots in my youth, I experimented with drugs but luckily never got hooked I blame that on just being young and because of a generational gap not talking about it with my mom back then it wasn't common to talk about drugs with parents. I guess I knew where I screwed up when I was young and I passed on the knowledge to my kids by being open to talk with them. I realize now that I had the love of my mother and my step-father who came into my life when I was about 11 and they provided the stability I needed to get through being a teenager/young adult. I can only hope my husband and I have given our kids this stability to make it through the rough spots too.

To add to this since I just go to page 2 of the comments

     1. I never said Fashion model I said respectable which to means clean and not looking like a slob. We have all seen the lady with the rollers in her hair now come on please.

     2. I agree that kids need times to vent and parents are in control when they ignore it sometimes. Its those parents who let their kids run all over the store screaming and acting like brats that I can't stand. I would remove my child from the store and deal with it outside. Kids know you mean business when you simply remove them,  look them square in the eye and tell them no, and other times it takes a swat on the backside to make your point.

Lighten up Canibeyou, nothing wrong with looking decent, but usually  when someone looks too good to be true, they are.  What is in one's heart is more important than what is on the outside.

Haven't you ever met anyone like that, that just looked so perfect, that you instantly know something is dreadfully wrong? I have seen  people who have spent so much time and effort on their clothes,makeup, and plastic surgery, that they now look "plastic"  Their perfect car, their perfectly good looking husband, the perfect kids, their perfect house, with the little perfect white picket fence, their perfect career, etc. Later we find out they are serial killers, and their kids are strung out on drugs, etc., and that it wasn't all that it appeared to be at all.

Where does one find the time to be so perfect?  I only have enough time to be perfectly imperfect, and what you see is what you get.

Jewels~

I have a confession, that is my favorite thing to wear and sleep in, mens pajama pants and a t-shirt as long as I am just working around the house or the barn. By the time I finish all my barn work, I have to take a shower and change to go anywhere anyway. Too Funny! LOL!

I can understand and empathize with what some of you ladies are talking about being "presentable". As a man (and I hope "gentleman") I have the same or similar expectations. Even if I am only going to Albertson's to buy a couple of items, I look in the mirror and see someone who is in disheveled clothes and needs a shave. So, I take a quick shave (maybe even a shower) and change of clothes, and venture forth. Nobody in the world knows the difference.....BUT I DO! That's a large part of what the kids (and many parents) lack today...it's called SELF ESTEEM!

Jim Richards

This site went crazy.  I just love that.  My problem is not the mom who ran into Albertsons with her hair pulled back into a pony tail because she was in a hurry.  My problem is not the kid who is obviously having a bad day and behaving bratty.  That stuff just happens to all of us now and again. 

I  dislike standing in a line and the kids have purposely put themselves together to look awful.  Tatoos, piercings, what appears to be dirty clothes/hair/feet and talking trash.  I always think of my really nice grandmother and she wouldn't say a word but, I know, she would be so very embarrassed if she was in line with me.  These kids are just rude.  But - I know rude adults too.