Just when we thought it was safe. Isn't that crazy what triggers those old haunts. It was an interesting few days. I hope you both feel a a bit better now, for a plethora of reasons. NOW, who's going to the " meet & greet " ? Mamma Hilly-billy's  (I liked that one ) here we come!! Hilly beans.

I am glad everyone got a good laugh at Mamahillybilly...It is pretty funny... I am planning on coming tonite hope to see alot of bloggers there... 

Mato...I'm very impressed with your ability to see where your feelings came from.  Not all of us have that ability.  However, we all seem to have the uncanny sense of bringing out feelings that we don't realize we are touching on.

I grew up in Porterville, CA.  That's where the Eagle Mountain Casino is located.  My elementary school was the district school for the kids up on the Tule Reservation.  This was back in the mid 60's.  My memories of those times were that those kids seemed to come from a "different place".  I was always kind of afraid of the kids living on the reservation.  I was very shy back then and quiet.  I was never "one of those kids" that made fun of others.  I'm sure that there were those that did though,  So I can almost understand (almost) understand how you must have felt during those years.  I too, remember, being quiet and shy, having kids say mean things to me and I just took it in and internalized it as a reflection on myself.

Thank God, we no longer have to keep those feelings inside and can voice when someone has been "seemingly: offensive or someone has inadvertently hurt your feelings.  We don't have to keep it inside and have it gnaw at you. 

I'm glad that you came back and shared your feelings with us.  I think most of us can relate to the feeling of inadequacy we felt when growing up, and I'm sure there will be some sharing on this subject.   

Matokanji... great post.   I know Joty and she is anything but racist, However, I do understand a little about how you feel.  I'm Caucasian, but my two nieces are half Mexican and with all the bigotry starting to form because of our need for immigration reform ... I worry for them.   I'm think the fact that Obama has come so far as to run for president this means the youth of the U.S. is finally changing the mind set of some of us older folks.  I have always been a tomboy, and I can't tell you how many people have called me a lesbian and made fun of the way I dress.  Well to heck everyone, I like everyone, I like lesbians too, so what do I care if they thought I was a lesbian...GREAT!!!  lol   It takes time to mentally free yourself from societies bigots...but once you do, nothing anyone says will hurt you ever again.  I love who I am and I am very proud of myself and who I have become.  Once I reached that point in my life, what ever anyone else said was simply laughable.  I still wear Levis and t-shirts and look like a tomboy...I guess that's just who I am. 

Don't feel bad about speaking up on Joty's post...this is how we fight bigotry.  Communication and bravery.  I'm sure when you meet Joty at the Meet and Greet at Mama's Hilly Beans you will both hug and laugh at this misunderstanding.  I for one have learned from it..... again great post.

Storilori  I don't know who all is coming. I will at Hilly Beans around 5pm with Joty, Awsmom, and Oochild, I don't know what time Olivia and Bigdog will be there... hope we see ya there.   P.S.  Please do not beat up Gube, I promised him we wouldn't ... lol

Matokanji...I hope to meet you as well, you seem like a very interesting person.

Again, like I have said many times and I'll say it again because it is worth repeating.  It gets heated on here sometimes...we take things wrong.....we say  things wrong....we hurt people, mostly not meaning too....but in the end, most of us come back and recognized our mistake or apologize.  We all are opinionated at times or want to have a voice or just to vent....that is why we blog.  Otherwise there wouldn't be one!

Sparks, your lesbian comments remind me of a funny story.  My best friend and I are very close.  Been through hell and back a few time.  Well, we use to work at a well known establishment there in Teh.  In fact for awhile it was the only one.  Anyhow, we were always together, spending the night at each others house, going out to the bars, shopping, eating, etc.  Even at work it she had to stay late to finish something up, I would stay and help and vise verse.  Being a small town and all and as we all have experience, the work place becomes even smaller, people use to "wonder" if we were lesbians.  Now a little to their credit we had friends that were and hung out a lot.  In fact one friend was married but realized/excepted  who she really was and divorce her husband.  Well, my best friend was engaged then married, I was involved with a man, that everyone at work knew, but people still said we were "seeing" each other.  So after a year or so of this we said "screw it", let them believe what they want.  But we took it one step further.  One night when we were out we pretend to kiss one another.  I mean my own boyfriend at the time got all excited cause it looked so real.  Well of course that got back to work before we even worked our next shift.  So after that when the "busy bodies" would be around we would "act" all guilty, or just giggle or slap each others butts or whatever just to stir the pot.  It was so fun.  I still get questioned about her sometimes and it's been well over 10 years.  Damn those were some good times!!

Mato - I sincerely appreciate your post and your apology - you really didn't have to. I respect the fact that you have a right to your feelings even though I really did not mean to come across as insensitive. While you did not hurt my feelings, I was taken aback because I am the furthest thing from being racist. I do understand where you were coming from and I hate knowing what you suffered at the hands (and mouths) of stupid idiots - especially a teacher! I have my prejudices of course, but race isn't one of them. My family too is a mixed bag (my aunt for instance, how many times I've heard someone refer to her as "squaw" - I despise that word). You have given me something to think about though...and I will think before I post.

I am pretty thick-skinned and I hold no grudges. So it's all in the past for me, and I'd love a fresh start!

Thank you again, Mato, it takes a big person to stand up like that publicly. I hope to meet you tonight, or if not tonight, maybe on the 4th.

Mato & Olivia, are you talking about a res. around here? Did you know each other then? .

Matokanji-That was an impressive apology,it says alot about you and your growth as a person.Some of my family went through similar and the pain and resentment is still there.I got a very watered down version,but still have often felt between-worlds.I went through a time when I learned about and was angry about NA issues too-now I just avoid it all because it drags up old feelings.We often don't have a chance to explain to people why it is that we react to things in a certain way,I'm glad that you took the opportunity to do so.

Mato I went to Farmers Market tonight to meet you and sample your food...and you weren't there!  Will you be there next week?

Nice post Mato....

I'm pretty sure he will be at the park tomorrow...  seriously, one taco fills the entire plate!

And man are those tacos excellent!!!

Ok--I guess I will go to BVS in the am and then Tehachapi so I can try some of his food.  Where will his booth be?  Where should I look?

where is mato? Seriously, he hasn't blogged since last night, didn't go to meet & greet or F.M. I guess he wasn't there, I didn't see anyone, so what do I know.

He has a bright red booth.  I'm not sure where he will be tomorrow, but when I stopped by a few weeks ago during the chili cook-off, he was on the west side of the park.