Just because you can produce, doesn't mean you should. 

From a book my Mom gave me, titled You say I'm a Bitch like it's a bad thing

From a bathroom sign in Grace Slick's home:

"In this land of heat and sun,

We don't flush for number one"

Can I tell a story here? Gube's "righty tighty, lefty loosey" reminded me of it. Screw it, I'm gonna tell it. Ahhh, and for those with sensitive ears, or eyes as the case may be… this story may not be for you, although I’ve )#$^()’ed my foul mouth out of the text.

I work in the wind turbine manufacturing industry, and I have encountered some of the absolutely most amazing characters in my 7-1/2 years in the industry. Some of them are amazing in the truly mind-blowing, "you're a freaking genius and I love you forevaah!" way and some of them are amazing in the... ah, "Jesus Christo, you seriously have a FREAKKKK - ING college degree?? Can you produce that for me, cuz right now I can't believe they let you out of 2nd grade." This story is about someone in the second category.  Important to note, however, that I positively love and adore this person… he is such a sweetheart that it’s impossible not to.

There’s an engineer who works for us… we’ll call him John in this story… he would as The Stupidest questions about our turbine to one of the other guys who works in his department. I sat in between them at the time, so I heard pretty much all of it. We have an internal Instant Messenger service, and me and “Ralph”, the guy he would always ask these stupid questions to would IM back and forth. Typically, while Ralph was trying to formulate a response without being rude or laughing, I would be IM’ing Ralph with the correct answer to John’s question, and some snappy comment about, “How could a person who works here… an ENGINEER for Christ’s sake not know the basic function of a slip ring???!! Do you guys have any openings, cuz I think I need John’s job, he’s scaring me!!”

So one day, I hear John asking Ralph, “Soooo… Ralph… When you measure a bolt…” (I immediately put my head in my hands. I knew this was going to be bad) “…do you measure from the top of the bolt or from the, uhhh… under the top of the bolt??” Ralph was having a difficult time phrasing an appropriate response, and I just couldn’t help myself. I stood up, walked out, and said, “Hey, John. When you measure your c*ck, do you start measuring from behind your b#!ls, or in front of them?” He stared at me, slack jawed for a few seconds, and I said, “Yup, there’s your answer, John. Now you will never forget. I learned how to measure hardware when I was an eight-year-old girl. You’re a mechanical engineer… what the hell, man? And the “top” of the bolt is called the “head”… just like your…[gesturing with the folder in my hand].” He laughed, punched me in the shoulder, and said, “Ahhhh, you know me, girl. I missed that day in Engineer school. Thanks, Rice… You just gave me a lesson far more valuable than well, most anything did I learned in college. I definitely will never forget that!!” Meanwhile, there were tears streaming down Ralph’s cheeks.

And, for those of you who are cringing and thinking “sexual harassment”… No fear. Me, John and Ralph were the only ones in the office, as it was late at night, and we’re a pretty tight crew… all good friends. I wouldn’t have said that with just any ole body around.

So, thanks, Gube for reminding me of this with simply mentioning “Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey”.

 Shoulda, Woulda,Coulda!

Mom's fav. Gube, I loooove that one,use it all the time!

 "Never complain, Never explain" by Katharine Hepburn

“If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.” by Jennifer Jones

righty tighty....lefty lucy

gube,your funny.

Be like pa not like sis....lift the seat before you piss

If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat

"Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence." -Henry David Thoreau

eek  I like this version ....God didn't bring me this far to drop me on my azz..........

You know Job I was thinking about the type-o...maybe that was Freudian slip..lol.  Being that I am still in the grieving process.  But I just wanted to say sorry for mis-quoting that. 

Colitas, I'm sorry for you loss. And thanks, I'd like to think my late wife is smiling in heaven knowing she left words worth repeating. I'm sure God is.

God never gives you more than what you can handle..I think that is from Mother Theresa

I have this printed on a real pretty sheet of paper and framed, I look at it all of the time 

Job, by the way I forgot that I got that from you until you posted.  My mom just past recently and we used that quote.  If I remember correctly it was from you late wife's memorial stone.  See this blog carries on good things as well.

no that was just a type-o.  Thanks I changed it.