A Byte Of Tehachapi - Sparks's Blog - Tehachapi News http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks I Dream of Art I Dream of Art en-us Talent In Tehachapi http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/30922 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/30922 <p>There is a new artist website in Tehachapi that encourages all people, who have talent to post their creative works online.&nbsp; How do I know?&nbsp; I created it.</p> <p>So, you have only written one poem, and it was a long time ago.&nbsp; Or, you have painted or drew something, but you don't think it's very good.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;That's what I want to see.&nbsp; The artist in us all.</p> <p>Grunge Hobbit is an Online Community Site for Tehachapi Artists.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The goal of the Grunge Hobbit is to get all Tehachapi Artists up on the Internet&nbsp;absolutely free. This way, all of the residents in our town can show their art&nbsp;work&nbsp; online,&nbsp;whether&nbsp;the artist is rich or poor, amateur or profession, young or old.&nbsp; this isn't a business site dabnabbit.&nbsp; This is an artist&rsquo;s site. A place where all the talented people of our town gather together in one place and inspire each other. Tehachapi has all kinds of wonderful Artists, both Fine and Grungy.&nbsp; We are as diverse as is the World:&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Performing Artists:</strong>&nbsp;Actors, Producers, Directors, Theater, and Dance&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Writers:</strong> Who write Poetry, Short Stories, Articles, Essays, Novels and Published&nbsp;Books.</p> <p><strong>Artists:</strong> Who use Oil, acrylic, pencil, pen, charcoal,&nbsp;photography, digital,&nbsp;sculpture, glass, clay, crafts, tattoos,&nbsp;and mixed media.&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Musicians:</strong> Singers, musicians, digital sound creators/editors.</p> <p>Come&nbsp;and display your talent online! Go to the <a href="http://grungehobbit.com">http://grungehobbit.com</a> and sign up for a free Blog.&nbsp;&nbsp;Once registered, you can upload your music, artwork and&nbsp;photos,&nbsp;or type in your literature and poetry for the world to see.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;If you are not a computer person, or you would rather&nbsp;not make your own blog and you&nbsp;still want to show your talent to the world via the Tehachapi Artists Community Blog, email&nbsp;<a href="mailto:grungehobbit@aol.com">The Grunge Hobbit</a> and send&nbsp;me the information and pictures you want on your blog.&nbsp;I will glady make a a place for you here.</p> <p>All are welcome&hellip;.so come join the community of creativity!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> Ed Begley, Jr comes to Tehachapi to save the sequoias and our forests. http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/30390 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/30390 <p><img alt="Sequoia Fund Raiser with Ed Begley Jr." src="http://hillybeans.com/images/sequoia072108.jpg" /></p> <p>Hey folks, come to Mama Hilly Beans on Monday, July 21 at 6 pm and enjoy some great music by Archie Logsdon(Lost Hills) and mountain dulcimer by Jon Hammond; dinner made from organic, locally grown fare; and a presentation of Sequoia Forest keeper's programs of victories. ED BEGLEY, JR. will also speak about the need to protect the mightiest of the trees and the forest that surrounds them, and SKF President and nationally known activist Martin Litton plans to make an appearance.<br /> Also meet the SFK interns and learn what they have been up to this summer.<br /> Check out Ed's Show on HGTV about living green in Hollywood.<br /> &nbsp;</p> <p>Suggested Donation: $25.00 each.</p> <p>I have a great passion for sequoias and our beautiful forests. I will certainly be there!</p> Tehachapi News Bloggers http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/30255 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/30255 <p>I was at Mama Hilly Beans last night and I met yet another TN blogger.&nbsp;&nbsp; Yaso, what a sweet guy you are, I really enjoyed talking to you.&nbsp; I hope to see you again sometime.</p> <p>Reffup was there with his family.&nbsp; Reffup's daughter did a comedy act about cows.. it was hilarious!&nbsp;&nbsp; She had the whole place cracking up.&nbsp; Good job!&nbsp;</p> <p>Madkow showed up but left before the cow comedy because her adorable little boy was ready to go.&nbsp; lol&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Awsmom was there with a friend of hers...I sat with them and had my cup of Earl Grey tea.&nbsp;</p> <p>Oh Eek,&nbsp;I ran into&nbsp;Romantic Poet, I found him interesting and we bonded rather quickly last night.&nbsp;What you say about him is very true. He's a wonderful man. BTW,&nbsp;He&nbsp;couldn't help it but&nbsp;use the F word.&nbsp; lol&nbsp;</p> <p>I also ran into Jon Hammond.. OMG, he is a true historian when it comes to Tehachapi, I'm going to go see him talk about the elderly in Tehachapi this evening, should be interesting.&nbsp;&nbsp; He's such a sweet and talented man.&nbsp; I so miss his columns here on the TN site.&nbsp; I asked him why TN wasn't posting his articles anymore.&nbsp; He said he didn't know, that I would have to ask TN.&nbsp;&nbsp; SO, I'm asking... Tehachapi News..&nbsp; WHY?&nbsp;&nbsp; Why is&nbsp;Jon's column not being ran on this site anymore?&nbsp;</p> <p>All in all it was a fun night and as usual Holly Hart was funny and well...just being herself.</p> Another Night Out For Us Bloggers? http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/30065 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/30065 <p>I'm wondering who all is going to be at Mama Hilly Beans on Open Mic Night this Wednesday.&nbsp;&nbsp; It's was exciting meeting new faces of bloggers.&nbsp;&nbsp; I hope to see even more new faces on Wednesday.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I hope Holly Hart will be there again, watching her try and get people off stage who want to LIVE up there and her fantastic personality alone is worth going for.</p> <p>Who will be there?&nbsp;&nbsp; Who's going to read something?</p> <p>I read a poem a few days ago to the poetry group at Hilly Beans and I couldn't help but stutter, my voice wouldn't work, the words got blurry,&nbsp;and I thought I was going to cry.&nbsp;&nbsp; Good thing I don't do public speaking&nbsp;for a living.&nbsp; lol</p> <p>Sushi, Countygirl, Ragmop, Gube....will there be any new faces there?</p> Live & Let Live http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/29865 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/29865 <p><strong><font style="font-family: " face="Comic Sans MS" size="3">There has been many debates and battles over religion in the world, and on this very blog.&nbsp; I'm an Atheist, although I embrace all religions and respect the beliefs of others, some find me a bit hard to comprehend. I wrote a article a couple years ago when I was looking for a religion I could embrace fully...&nbsp; I couldn't find one, but there are some religions that taught me a lot and still do.&nbsp; Here is what I wrote about religion, I hope it helps those who don't understand atheism to at least understand me a little better.</font></strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong><font style="font-family: " face="Comic Sans MS" size="3">A Spiritual Path</font></strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">A spiritual connection with your higher power can be the most profound relationship you will ever experience. No human being knows what path is best for you, not priests, not ministers, not psychics, not your family, not your friends, and certainly not me. All religions contain constituents of truth and all contain inaccuracies. The Divine being you choose to guide you must honor and welcome your values, ethics, beliefs and who you are as an individual. Only YOU can determine which divine entity will guide you through life in a way that will help you prosper and enjoy life to the fullest.</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">There are many different religions whether you choose Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism,&nbsp;Paganism, Hinduism, Shinto, Taoism, Native American beliefs, the Goddess,&nbsp;or another spiritual path is not nearly as important as the act of freely choosing. You may very well choose to be an Atheist. My beliefs may be different than yours; to this I say&rdquo; Diversity is a beautiful thing; life would be lethargic and dreary if we all had the exact same concepts and beliefs. Take pride in your individuality and respect others who do the same.&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">Some believe there is only one God, some believe there are many Gods and Goddesses, and some believe in the Mother-Goddess. Cave paintings and rock carvings of Goddesses have been found that date back to 35,000 years B.C.E. or earlier. Many of these statues and painted images are often called &quot;Venus&quot;. The best known of these, is the Venus of Willendorf. The Venus is carved from limestone and was found in Willendorf, Austria. Ironically my family is from Austria, and the very first piece of art they gave me was a statue of Venus!&nbsp; Very Cool!</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">Does there have to be only one God?</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">I believe that a majority of men feared women because of our intelligence and since they were physically stronger then women, they then forced women to decline mentally, prohibiting us from reading or being educated in schools, and soon after, declaring that there were not many Gods and Goddesses nor was there a Mother-Goddess, but ONE God, a male God. Men are wonderful human beings, but they certainly have no right to carve Sanctity in stone! Altering the heart and mind can be grueling for those of us who have been taught to worship traditional religion, or we who did not want a jealous or fearing male God and consequently chose to be atheists instead. I don't want to&nbsp;limit myself to one religion or faith. I want to learn of different religions and spiritual paths, and then grab what knowledge I want from each one. When reading a book about religion or spirituality, I take what I want and leave the rest. If I find something a mere mortal or a prophet wrote as her or his own truth and do not find it to be my truth&hellip; I will simply disregard it and absorb only the teachings in which I do agree with, or believe in. I think to take any written book whether it is The Women&rsquo;s Spirituality Book, the Bible, or Dr. Ruth&rsquo;s Encyclopedia of Sex as truth and nothing but the truth, is pure silliness. We are all complex and distinct people, not every written word in one book could possibly convey who we are as an individual in my opinion. All books were written by human beings such as us, all have some truth and all have some error.</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">Having faith is a wonderful thing, having someone else&rsquo;s faith is like borrowing, it never really belongs to you.&nbsp; If I had to make a&nbsp;choice to worship a God to please society as a whole, I would choose to worship a sacred woman for I believe women to be the most loving and powerful of all divine beings. Therefore, my spirituality would flow through the honoring of a God similar to the Great Goddess. We depend on the earth for all things, food, shelter, and life itself. All bodies are created within the bodies of females and so it is natural for me to see an all-powerful creator as female. In fact, understanding&nbsp;and reading about the Mother Goddess has helped me to embrace my own power, proficiency, splendor and heritage. What I have learned is to enjoy all the phases of life. Spirituality lives in me and strengthens my knowledge about life, love, nature and creativity. Also, in reading about the Goddess I have learned to revere and share my existence with our planet, all creatures, and all plants.</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">Some people who practice a Goddess religion perceive the Goddess as the Divine Creatrix of All Life. Others see her as a metaphor for &quot;Mother Nature,&quot; (as I do) representing earth&rsquo;s sacred force. And some simply view her as fascinating pieces of ancient art. </font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">Buddhism is another religion that I enjoy the teachings of.&nbsp; Do I believe in reincarnation or that crystals will balance my chakras?&nbsp; No, yet, I now support a crystal around my neck; For me, it symbolizes the heroic energy of the planet. Buddhism is a wonderful religion that does not require a belief in a God/higher power and yet their teachings seem more loving and spiritual to me than all others. </font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">As you can see if I had to choose a God, I would have chose&nbsp;a higher power that accepts me for who I am and who would encourage me to be more.&nbsp; One who would teach me that, all life is sacred (equivalent to a power and related to each other), and that there is only one race,&nbsp;the human race.</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">Being an Atheist doesn't mean I don't experience spirituality or believe in transcendental power.&nbsp; On the contrary, a simple walk on the beach or in the mountains will conjure up&nbsp;a very intense spiritual experience for me.&nbsp;&nbsp; These are the times I feel at one with our planet and our vast universe.&nbsp; I'm not a believer in Gods, however I am indeed very spiritual.</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">To me, true love and spirituality is embracing the world, and taking pride in your individuality and respecting the individuality of all others.&nbsp; It has nothing to do with ego, power and control.&nbsp; I wouldn't think to force my beliefs onto others, I want the same respect from those who believe differently than I do. </font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">&nbsp;You can learn more about me at my site <a href="http://wud1.com">http://wud1.com</a></font></p> <p><font style="font-family: " face="comic sans ms,sans-serif" size="3">I read this article every time there is a religious debate on the TN blog to help center me.&nbsp; I don't like religion forced on me, yes this will upset me.&nbsp; Although I try to remember to respect others, and live and let live as much as possible.</font></p> Wow...What a Night! http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/29521 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/29521 <p>Holly Hart gave us a very warm welcome at Mama Hilly Beans, and she suggested that maybe we could make a time to meet at Hilly Beans for just us bloggers...which is a wonderful idea.&nbsp; She mentioned how wonderful it was that liberals and conservatives got along so well...and we did.&nbsp; We talk to, laughed and hugged everyone.&nbsp; Holly was a great host....thank you Holly.</p> <p>Does anyone know if Job made it home last night?&nbsp;&nbsp; He said he was leaving at 8;pm but he was having so much fun he was still there when I left&nbsp;.so I am a bit worried about him.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Eek is very quiet...so I just hugged her every chance I got.&nbsp; Madkow is shy so I had to embarrass her by making her stand up to speak to the crowd...what a cute little boy she has and her hubby is a real nice guy.&nbsp; Reffup loves talking politics and is very nice as well.&nbsp;&nbsp; Bigdog is as cuddly as a bear...OMG I bet everyone just loves to hug Bigdog... I know I did a couple of times.&nbsp; Olivia spoke at the mic and told a wonderful and heartfelt story of her childhood and got a big round of applause.&nbsp; Oochild may have a sore arm today because I had a tendency to hit her on the arm to get her attention. Awsmom is just the sweetest person, I really enjoyed talking to her. Joty is just an all around nice person and Storilori is so cute...she had a few of the guys turning their heads...she brought a camera, but I don't think she knows how to upload pictures.. lol&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Greg had to help me turn my bright lights to my new truck off because I didn't know how...as most already knows from his posts, he is a real sweetheart, it was good to finally get to hug him as well.&nbsp;&nbsp; Lots of fun and lots of hugs... a good night all around.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>I had a great time last night it was a blast to meet you all.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Yes, I am who I say I am a hyper, short, curly haired gal that just loved you all..&nbsp;&nbsp; Thanks for the great time everyone....We have to do this again sometime</p> <p>Gube ...you suck... lol&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Countygirl, you should have came... you would have loved it, and I would have bought you your first cup of java.&nbsp; (smile)</p> <p>If you bloggers notice a new blogger here named Randy,&nbsp; we met him at Hilly Beans...he's a poet and he and I played musical chairs for a while.&nbsp;&nbsp; Welcome to the TN blog Randy.</p> Star Trek, to boldly go.... http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/28687 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/28687 <p>Huffingtonpost written by T. Thompson</p> <p>To boldly go where no man has gone before in California.&nbsp;</p> <p>&quot;It feels glorious,&quot; said Takei, who played Sulu on &quot;Star Trek,&quot; holding his marriage license.</p> <p>&quot;I am the happiest guy in the world,&quot; Altman said. &quot;I get to be married to George Takei.&quot;</p> <p>Dressed in suits and ties, the couple plan to be married in September at the Japanese-American Museum in downtown Los Angeles, forgoing what is to be a day of weddings at West Hollywood Park underneath a collection of white tents.</p> <p>&quot;Now it has meaning,&quot; Takei explained to reporters. &quot;We are going to be legitimately married in California.&quot;</p> <p>Altman couldn't resist a sound byte: &quot;I am extremely optimistic that George and my marriage will live on and prosper far beyond November.&quot;</p> <p>They were all smiles and obviously joyous. But they weren't jumping for joy. They were well-prepared for the media glare, ready to become celebrity spokesmen for gay unions, at least for today. Every time Takei talked, I was reminded of Sulu, signaling, in a calm and collected, non-emotive voice, some kind of danger to Captain Kirk.</p> <p>In that same tone, Takei took note of the protesters, one dressed like a devil, saying that &quot;they need to equally respect the diversity in California.&quot;</p> <p>&quot;If they want respect, they have to be respectful, and they are being disrespectful,&quot; he said, although acknowledging they still had a right to be there.</p> <p>&quot;They cannot put their personal religious beliefs on us and write it into law.&quot;</p> <p>&quot;There is nothing extraordinary,&quot; Takei said. &quot;We are just like John and Mary. We are just part of the diversity of America.&quot;</p> Sit Down & Shut Up Mr. Ford http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/27563 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/27563 <p>Bill Ford is a student of Zen and Tibetan and Vipassana Buddhism.&nbsp; He is NOT a Christian.&nbsp; So I find the ad from Mohave's Ford Dealer hilariously funny.</p> <p>I would never tell my boss to sit down and shut up....&nbsp; There are many idiots in the world, but Rick Kieffe, owner of Kieffe and Sons Ford in Mojave and Rosamond take the cake.&nbsp; lol&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Christianity is fading, from 86% in 1990 to less than 75% today...and, Yes, the ad was incorrect, NOT&nbsp;ALL PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN&nbsp;GOD ARE CHRISTIANS....&nbsp;and people wonder why Christianity is fading????&nbsp;&nbsp; A lot of Americans do not like bigotry.</p> <p>Kieffe and Sons are paying the price for their stupidity.. they have taken down their website due to hundreds of negative emails, they have been getting phone calls from all over the world informing them of their bigotry, and the negative feedback online will make life for Kieffe and Sons difficult for years to come. .</p> <p>Well, lesson learned.&nbsp;&nbsp; Bigotry isn't accepted by many in America.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>So, yes I will still buy a Ford Edge next year, but not from the fool in Mohave.</p> Let Insanity Be Sweet... by Sparks http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/18250 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/18250 <p><font size="3">Life and my ideas of her assimilate inside me at times without my knowledge. Innate defense mechanisms naturally conceal painful experiences via denial, lies and suppression, while&nbsp;other survival instincts foolishly embrace pleasures regardless of the consequences.&nbsp; This is normal, however a fragile mind often requires an opaque retreat in which&nbsp; to shelter it from the glare of sentience. Inebriants obscure the sharp edges and smooth a long and jarring journey through life.&nbsp; While sober, the need to forget ones experiences are required frequently.&nbsp; Cowardly, I have acquired much of my reality by self inflicted illusions and untruths for the sake of self-protection and peace of mind.&nbsp; Inevitably, my reality is difficult to comprehend. Oh, but how exciting confusion is while intoxicated.</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">Recently I have become acquainted with neurosis. I am completely lost and severely weakened by a personal void and a severe lack of toxins. This is the price one pays for a life of self indulgence. My external means of happiness and comfort have all abandoned me. It&rsquo;s just me, myself and I along with a vast emptiness that resides here now. Alone with myself I attempt to make conversation with a person I no longer recognize.&nbsp; The role I play in a script I wrote and produced for my life is no longer substantial enough to survive. Without my supporting characters, I too am disintegrating into emptiness.&nbsp; This reminds me of the movie The Incredible Shrinking Man.&nbsp; How small did he get?&nbsp; Is he still alive fighting off creatures that cannot be seen even by the most powerful microscope invented by mankind, or did he simply shrink into nothingness?&nbsp; POOF, no remnants whatsoever, not even a speck of dust that remains forever in the Universe. Nothing, absolutely nothing. </font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">Overwhelming fear forces me to make the most significant decision of my life, and to face a climatic dilemma.&nbsp; Sanity or Death. Death with the interpretation in the critical sense, for I have already died in a story book of tales soaked in alcohol and cocaine. Incapable of leaving the house, I am unable to replenish&nbsp;my supply of &nbsp;booze. This has left me horribly sober.&nbsp; As chunks of truths and emotions once suppressed by alcohol regurgitate from&nbsp;the deep and dark vaults of my being, I find&nbsp;it&nbsp;necessary&nbsp;to make serious choices.&nbsp; Naked and confused, I slowly attempt to dissolve delusions one by one. In anger I gather strength, in sadness I become humble.&nbsp; I explore truisms as I continue to try and fill the emptiness inside me with substance.&nbsp;&nbsp; At times of weakness I hold on to my lifelong and comfortable bed, a bed I myself manufactured, a bed of lies and denial in which parts of me will be forever lost in.&nbsp; These difficult decisions and&nbsp;feelings of despair often court death, a courtship to which at times seem like the easiest choice.&nbsp;&nbsp; Teetering on the border of insanity I am forced to revisit the past over and over again in an attempt to decipher actual events from falsehoods.</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;Please let insanity be sweet.</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">I need to organize my thoughts, write them down, no matter how simple or complex:</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;I am loved and accepted by all,&nbsp;<br /> Truth: I am hated by bigots. </font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;I don&rsquo;t hurt people,&nbsp;<br /> Truth: I hurt people for my own selfish entertainment often.&nbsp; </font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">I close my eyes to envision the color blue, I hate the color blue. It reminds me of a bad relationship. Ironically I actually liked blue as a child. My sisters always wanted things pink, their clothes, their toys, and of course, the wall color of their room. I preferred blue, especially when it came to my clothes.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t really hate him (the reason I hate blue), not everyone is capable of being a good friend or lover.&nbsp; In truth, it was me I hated, not him. I felt I had to make our relationship work because I couldn&rsquo;t do better for myself. I hated the fact that he could make me cry, that I allowed him to demean me, and I hated that I accepted the position of a second class citizen out of fear. F--k it all. Who the f--k cares.&nbsp; I was weak, so the f--k what.&nbsp; I still don&rsquo;t like the color blue.&nbsp; </font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;4.&nbsp; Truth:&nbsp; I hate the color blue because it reminds me of how much I hate myself. </font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">&quot;Hmmm, that went well&quot;. </font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;I will mentally place these issues in the Closed file section of my mind. Four down, 179,401 to go.&nbsp;&nbsp; I slip down onto my pillow and try to sleep<strong>.</strong></font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><font size="3">Fear consumes me.&nbsp; Knowledge of my desperate and inadequate attempts of self preservation in the past are revealed. I hate myself. I hate myself , I hate everyone. This uninvited, yet welcome transformation is an asset of sorts, it serves as a shield to block out external distractions.&nbsp; I no longer need to exert extra energy by treating others compassionately.&nbsp; Anger is my favorite defense mechanism.&nbsp; I implode this emotion to conjure up strength and create a powerful warrior willing to fight to free me from the abyss of dementia. </font></p> <p><font size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font size="3">Frantically I pace the long corridor in a house with too many windows, as my dog barks at a stranger. Moving through the house I&nbsp; can feel my heartbeat accelerate at the sight of me laying in the fetal position in the corner of my bedroom.&nbsp; Daylight and nights, hours and minutes, all moments are jumbled into one. Concerned friends knock at my door and beg to help from the outside.&nbsp; Curtains sway without a breeze, and cabinet doors loose shape and liquefy. Deep slumbers fail to revive my appetite for food.&nbsp;&nbsp; &quot;The Truth Will Save You&quot;, a quote used for manipulation. It&rsquo;s all bullshit. Yet, in my sleep I continue the grueling process of analyzing, decoding and revealing my existence. Insanity is exhausting, I&rsquo;m tired, I&rsquo;m dying.&nbsp; I miss my sanity no matter how distorted.</font></p> Poetry - My Love http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/834 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/Sparks/834 <p align="left"><br /> My love, deeper than intellects are able to describe<br /> <br /> A brilliant companion, all others mundane by contrast<br /> <br /> I dream to reflect from your coveting eyes<br /> <br /> To feel the reverberation of your voice waft across my unclothed body&nbsp;<br /> <br /> All that you are echoes within me<br /> <br /> You resolve my actions, my inspirations, and my fate<br /> <br /> In silence my heart lives with the resonance of you<br /> <br /> I am without yearning, without need, without envy<br /> <br /> You are my celebrated days and the buoyancy of my nights<br /> <br /> Embracing you as your childhood nightmares come out to play<br /> <br /> Your difficulties are my battle to fight vigorously and without fear<br /> <br /> Respecting you with admiration, tender yet strong<br /> <br /> Lead me to your well of blue water, to the dark and cloudy skies of warmth<br /> <br /> Take me to the mountains and juniper trees&nbsp;<br /> <br /> Take me to where it is that your smile breathes life, a place of comfort<br /> <br /> Take me, for you are my best reason for existence,<br /> <br /> You are my love, my life, my siege of ultimate happiness<br /> <br /> <br /> Digital art and poetry by debi shadow</p>


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Credit: copyright 2006 - debi shadow


Title:
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Credit: copyright 2006 - debi shadow

 copyright 2006 - debi shadow