Why lie I need a drink - Are you a drunk? - alcoholic's Blog - Tehachapi News

Apr 15, 2008 at 06:04 AM : No I do not give...

No I do not give anyone asking for money on the street a buck or two.. In all honesty these "bums" need to stop feeling sorry for themselves and do something to change their situation, for example get a job and get some help for their drinking problems, there are programs out there. And it is hard to figure out which ones out there actually need the help and which ones are only out there getting hand outs..

Apr 15, 2008 at 08:04 AM : I never give...

I never give money to people on the street, whether it's someone holding a handmade sign by a stoplight or it's someone standing outside the store with a coffee can and an "official" sign. Not only does it not really help people to just hand them money (whether they're using it "right" or not), but it also keeps that money away from places that need it to truly help people by offering shelter, food, job training, counseling, etc.

I give food to those who are hungry, or I point them to a place where they can get the help that they need. There are great places that will help people much better than I could with just cash. I support those places and help people get there.

Apr 15, 2008 at 08:04 AM : Sorry Dude ...

Sorry Dude

No doh. I've given sandwichs, jug of ice tea and had a most wonderful responce. I've taken down and outers to a dinner and got some looks from other patrations.

But, I will not help them get loaded. One has to have a meal to work but not a drink. Drinking is ALWAYS a choice. Drunks don't need help , drunks need a change of heart. Perhaps I help them continue by giving a sandwich,and perhaps I gave them something to eat as much for me as for them. But I can not feel good about buying a drunk a drink I can feel good about buying them a sandwich.

By the way , I don't always give em something to eat, sometimes I'm in a bad mood or pressed for time , or dont have enough money myself. In these cases , I walk on.

Apr 15, 2008 at 09:04 AM : Ya I...

Ya I don't have a problem with giving a bum the change in my pocket or even a dollar or two from time to time. Homelessness and Alcoholism is a son of a bitch and I think most also suffer from some type of mental illness. Most will probably die on the streets, some of them from Alcohol withdraw. Its sad that the united states sends billions of our money to aid suffering people in other countries and basically turn it's back on the suffering in this country. Giving or buying food for the homeless is a great thing to do.

Apr 15, 2008 at 09:04 AM : Many panhandlers are...

Many panhandlers are just supplementing their income and unless they give me some quality street performance - and fresh takes on the "my baby's in the car and I need gas" gag are getting hard to find - I don't give them anything.

But the real down-and-outers, the alcoholics, addicts, and mentally ill, aren't going to turn their lives around because someone refused to give them money, or even if everyone refused to give them money. They live horrible lives and they die young and often violently. And while there are programs out there, there aren't enough of them, and in many cases, the conditions for accepting them (separation from their 'spouses', for instance, in the case of shelter acceptance) are unacceptable.

I don't kid myself into thinking that my buck or two is going to make a big difference in their lives, but then neither is the buck or two I leave behind for the waitress at Kelceys. Its just a friendly thing to do, that's all, kind of like giving them a sandwich or a meal, I suppose.

Anyhow, here's 4 pages of fine comic art on the issue. You might recognize yourself, or someone you know in it somewhere.

http://www.reason.com/news/show/119487.html

Apr 15, 2008 at 09:04 AM : When I was...

When I was about 7 I remember leaving an amusement park with my family. There was a bum on the street and he asked my father if he could spare a dollar. My father snubbed his nose at him and walked on. I remember that so vividly, staring at that man, wondering where his children were, where were the people that loved him? Wondering what wrong turns he had taken to get where he was, wondering why my father didn;t help him when he could.

My heart goes out to homeless people when I see them, whether they are begging or just sitting somewhere, I can't help but wonder why they are where they are. I am much more inclined to give something to the person who is just sitting idly by on a bench or beside a wall than the person that is openly begging at the gas station. When I can, I try to give then something to eat, something to drink, I'd much rather give them food or maybe cigarettes rather than money that would probably end up being burned in a pipe or used for booze. I also try to be sure I give them a smile, some compassion with my tone and my words, afterall what they say is true, when you give someone a smile, it could be the only sunshine they see all day.

If taking a few minutes out of my day to share a story or a joke or a smile with someone who has lost thier way gives even one of them the slightest glimmer of hope, then it's time well spent.

Apr 15, 2008 at 11:04 AM : i always give,...

i always give, ALWAYS. As a matter of fact i keep spare change and dollar bills just for that occasion. Some of those guys make alot of money though..I usually give to the ones that are just sitting there, not asking..there are thousands of homeless people in SD

Apr 15, 2008 at 11:04 AM : a buck or...

a buck or two at Kelcy's for a tip? cheapskate

Apr 15, 2008 at 11:04 AM : Cheapskate?&...

Cheapskate? Is that why Terri glares at me? Ouch!

What if I only drank a cup of coffee? Then a buck is 100%....

Apr 15, 2008 at 12:04 PM : BTW, tips are taxed....

BTW, tips are taxed. You're not "donating" to the waitress, you're providing her taxable income. And if you skimp, she still gets taxed on what you should have given her.

Do I give money to panhandlers? Actually no, since I very rarely run into them. Guess I don't get out much.

Apr 15, 2008 at 01:04 PM : Hi Jewels,...

Hi Jewels, nice to see you on the site again! It's been a while.

...Well, I give money when I can, and I also will buy food or whatever I can, if they are outside a 7-Eleven. I try not to make judgements. Personally, I appreciate the honestly and sometimes natural comedic nature of the signholders. At least they are honest, and i've seen som pretty creative messages on those signs.

There is a bible quote that comes to mind whenever I see these poor guys, something about "What you do for the least of your brothers, you do for HIM."

Apr 15, 2008 at 01:04 PM : I usually...

I usually don't give money, because I very seldom have any on me. I have, however, given my 'take out' food that I've just picked up and I remember once a friend and I were just getting off the freeway in Bakersfield (it was evening, and cold out) and we could see a person laying near the exit. We stopped to see if they were hurt (he wasn't)...my friend gave him a coat and I gave him the hot coffee I had just bought.

I donate monthly to the Bakersfield Rescue Mission. They truly help those people who are down and out and try to work with them. I'm sure they make better use of any money that is given.

Apr 15, 2008 at 02:04 PM : YES, the BRM is a...

YES, the BRM is a GREAT place! They give so much true help to people, from sheltering them, to feeding them, to giving them job training. I really encourage you all to give what you can to them. They need plenty of things, not the least of which is your TIME. Take your family to serve dinner there, help paint a couple of rooms, etc. Just call them and tell them you want to volunteer. THey appreciate everything they are given and are excited that it gives them the ability to help MORE people. The people there have great hearts.

Apr 15, 2008 at 02:04 PM : wow... what's...

wow... what's that old Indian ditty about walking a mile in another man's moccasins? A couple of these responses are pretty harsh. I'm reminded of that song "That's Just The Way It Is" from many years ago by Bruce Hornsby. Granted, there are "bums" among the truly needy out there who don't want to better themselves, but to lump them all together isn't right or fair. To get a job, gotta have an address, something homeless people obviously don't have. Shelters are being shut down left and right - what do they do then? What about the mothers? If they manage to get a job, who's going to watch the kids? There may be programs out there, but there aren't enough. It's just not that easy to "better their situations".

Some of these people are the leftovers from Reagan's era, and my grandchildren will probably be dealing with the ones leftover from Bush's era.

How dehumanizing it must be to have someone walk by you as though you don't even exist...

Apr 15, 2008 at 03:04 PM : I'm...

I'm with Jewels.....perhaps it's because I too have lived in a large city most of my life and have met many homeless people. Whether they are drunks wanting a drink or mentally ill wanting food, it makes no difference.. I give with hopes that someday things will get better for them. Sadly a lot of homeless people won't go to shelters, especially schizophrenics, they seem to feel more comfortable alone and away from other people.

Christine.. I knew what your response would be (smile)

Apr 15, 2008 at 03:04 PM : Would you...

Would you give a Meth addict on the sidewalk a snort of Crystal Meth if he needed one?, a herion junkie a fix?, thats not helping these people, I would never do that, its cruel, if it makes you feel better to give people their drug of choice to keep them in their misfortune, then I feel sorry for you, places like Bakersfield Rescue Mission are the answer, and most churches in town also, I have handed out food and houshold goods to many people in town thru my church, we would never hand out drugs. many of these people are leftovers from Carters era, and my kids will probably be dealing with homeless from Clintons era.

Apr 15, 2008 at 03:04 PM : There's a...

There's a difference between a drunk or mentally ill homeless person and a drug addict. I would never give a drug addict a drug. Drug addicts aren't the people you find out on the street panhanding, if you do it's RARE. Drug addicts are too paranoid or afraid of the police to risk being in public... Drug addicts would rather steal from you. I think we are talking about two different things here Starbucks. But, I agree with you, I wouldn't give drugs to anyone either, however ,I have givien drug addicts food. I'm glad to hear your church lends a helping hand as well.

Apr 15, 2008 at 03:04 PM : There used to be a...

There used to be a guy, who was so out of it, he was laying (lying) on the cement, near the freeway offramp at LAX, he was filthy and so was the blanket over him; he didn't even have the strength to stand up, or was just too stoned, or both. When he was there every morning, there were two types of people in their cars, waiting for the light to turn: Those who gave him food and/or money and the other type: Eyes looking forward, and couldn't get out of the way, fast enough. Then there are the other sad cases of many a homeless person, with their dog, and probably only best friend; needless to say, from those of us who cared (and there were many), dog biscuits were plentiful/given to the furry friend, who only had a rope around his neck since he was homeless too; am sure he loved his (homeless) person anyway.

Apr 15, 2008 at 03:04 PM : Gee, who suggested...

Gee, who suggested handing out meth? I never have any on me anyway.

I suppose I have given money to people who then spent it for something that wasn't in their best interests....oh - wait a minute, that was me....and someone gave ME the money....oh well....

It isn't your responsibility how a bum, or anybody else, spends the money you give them. I don't expect bums to stop buying their pain-reliever of choice, of course. If I had to sleep outside on the sidewalk, I'd probably want to get molared up too.

Apr 15, 2008 at 04:04 PM : LMFAO...

LMFAO Progresso... I adore you!!!

Apr 15, 2008 at 04:04 PM : Years ago, my friend...

Years ago, my friend and I used to give money to some "pushy" people who would just walk right up to us, especially right after we came out of a restaurant; clearly, that was not a very smart thing to do, on our part. Finally, we made the decision not to give money, particularly to the many people, who would brazenly walk right up to you and just ask, outright; they didn't even bother to say "the usual" that they needed the money for gas and/or for their baby; or that their baby needed diapers/food; of course, "their wife was in the car, taking care of the baby" (all of which you could not see) . . . Lesson learned when you work close to the L.A. Airport . . .

Then you have the "entrepreneurs" who would come out of nowhere and start cleaning your windshild while you were pumping gas; they were very good at it, and the incentive was definitely there to give them a little money, so you could get the heck out of there, and all the while, promise yourself that you will never go back to that particular "establishment" . . .

Apr 16, 2008 at 06:04 AM : Progresso,...

Progresso, this blog is about,"Would you give a buck or two so a drunk could get a drink", thats what I am referring to, to me, its the same as giving a drug addict their drug of choice, I would not do this, these people need help, not more drugs, I have helped out many unfortunate people with food, clothes, ect, but to give them more drugs is just killing them faster, and I dont want a part of that, maybe you are ok with this, but even sparks admits she would not give out drugs to people asking for them either, perhaps you should re-think your position on this, I think we should help the homeless, not keep them stoned.

Apr 16, 2008 at 07:04 AM : Starbucks, I wish...

Starbucks, I wish Americans would do more for the homeless, many are Vets, or mentally ill and of course there are also the down and out. Americans should do more for the people who have served our country so valiantly and for the mentally ill/down and out. Heck, we respect homeless animals more than we do homeless people. I personally don't mind giving the homeless a few bucks. It makes ME feel good and hopefully it makes their day a little better. As I said before, not all the homeless, especially the mentally ill will go to shelters for help so the few bucks they make off the street is their only option. I respect the way you choose to help the homeless Starbucks. I believe people have the right to their own opinion, even if it happens to be different than my own, thus I'm fine with your and Progresso's opinion and I don't think either one of you should "re-think your position on this". To each their own. For those who wouldn't help at all... I say what goes around, comes around, but they too are entitled to their own opinion.

Apr 16, 2008 at 09:04 AM : I too give to the...

I too give to the homeless and also support NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). So many people have no empathy for the down and out amongst us.

I agree with Joty & Sparks wholeheartedly.

I have a queation. Are the people asking for donations outside of Kmart legite? I always give to them regardless . I asked one man who was outside if he was getting donations or were most people ignoring him. Most were ignoring him of course. They say they are an organization to help the homeless.

Apr 16, 2008 at 10:04 AM : Gillfish, Sure Kmart...

Gillfish, Sure Kmart is very good about letting organizations needing donations use their parking lot e.g. Girl Scouts, Fire Dept., Church groups and the Humane Society. etc. etc. Kmart also donates to these orgs in one way or another, heck they even donate food to the homeless dogs and cats in Tehachapi...that's why I shop at Kmart.

Apr 16, 2008 at 11:04 AM : Starbucks1, does the...

Starbucks1, does the employer who pays wages to an alcoholic, knowing that the man will spend much of those wages on booze morally equivalent to a person who hands out meth?

Your insistence that giving a man money which he predictably mis-spends is the same as giving him drugs would seemingly force you to say "yes" to that question. One might next argue that firing the alcoholic (thus removing his source of revenue to continue his bad habit) would be a moral response to the alcoholic's failings.

My position is that though I am not hiring a begger, but only giving a small charity, the man's use of that money confers no more culpability on me than it does an employer. I certainly have never advocated keeping anybody stoned, I've only pointed out that getting stoned is an understandable response by those who live under the horrible conditions these people do, and that I don't think we can condition our willingness to help on the good judgement or soberity of those who need it.

From the cartoon I linked earlier...

Sparks, thanks for your kind words. You made my day!

Apr 16, 2008 at 12:04 PM : the comment...

the comment on "drug attacks would rather steal from you" is pretty harsh. and untrue. I was never a meth addict( and the comment about having and giving out meth" was funny. but i was once a heroin addict, ( 1/2 years ago i stopped. I was homeless at one time as well, and maybe i did ask for money once or twice, but anyone who had at that time to reach out and help with a sandwich or a couple of bucks for food, or a coat. was so appreciated. It made me smile at humanity in those days. and so do alot of the comments here. except the statement about heroin attacks stealing. or spending every dollar on their drugs. i was never one to steal. I did worse but only to myself. next time don't judge the addict/alcoholic.

peace everyone

susan

Apr 18, 2008 at 11:04 AM : Susster,...

Susster, There I go, generalizing again... good catch, When I am wrong, I freely admit it. I hear what you are saying about the only harm you did was mainly to yourself. I can relate to that. Sure, many drug addicts do steal and I still believe that the majority of the homeless are not drug addicts, but my generalization of drug addicts was indeed wrong.

Go ahead slap me... I'm feeling kinky today. (smile)

Apr 21, 2008 at 09:04 AM : yeah, i wish someone...

yeah, i wish someone would have handed me out free meth back in the day....would have made things much easier :). I dont really care what they spend it on. The fact is, is that they have sunk to such a low that they are begging on the street. Why kick someone when they are down. If I have some spare change or a dollar i give it...I dont judge them. I think about "But for the grace of God...go I"

Apr 21, 2008 at 10:04 AM : In all honesty I am...

In all honesty I am getting tired of seeing people on the streets asking for money or being approached at gas stations for gas money. I was approached yesterday at a gas station by a lady asking for money for gas and then there was a lady on the freeway with a sign asking for money. I would rather give my spare change to a charity that is helping people than to a stranger on the streets.

Apr 21, 2008 at 10:04 AM : Hahaha the stranger on...

Hahaha the stranger on the street IS the one that your charity helps.

Apr 21, 2008 at 01:04 PM : Atleast then I will...

Atleast then I will have confidence in knowing that the money will be spent on things they need such as food,clothes, and etc. and not on what they want such as alcohol or drugs.

Apr 21, 2008 at 01:04 PM : WHY do...

WHY do people think that everyone on the street is an alcoholic or a drug addict? Because its not true. Do I know this for a fact? YES. This was my topci for my term paper in Sociology. Some are mentally ill who use drugs and alcohol to hinder their mental illness. Whatever the case may be...whats .50 cents out of your wallet for the less fortunate.

Apr 21, 2008 at 01:04 PM : $1.00 tip is...

$1.00 tip is fine for a $1.00 cup of coffee ProgressoDasani, how many times does "Terri" run back and forth to your table to fill up your cup? Thats what the tip is for the service not the product!!!

Apr 22, 2008 at 06:04 AM : You never know who...

You never know who that person may be and I just hope someone is there to help me up when I need it. What if the "bum" was god and you were being tested? I would hate to refuse him a simple donation because I have prejudged. I have given change, bottles of water, food, etc. Perhaps a few bucks and a few words of encouragement will help the individual make the right decision. I give the gift and say a prayer asking that they be helped and guided. After that I can not control what they do with the money, it is between them and god.

Apr 22, 2008 at 09:04 AM : I have and I will...

I have and I will give to a person asking for money. Who am I to judge them. A few bad decisions on my part and I could find myself in that position. What they use the money on is obviously what they need at the moment. With Bush's economy going down the drain we will see more homeless people soon. Unemployment is raising everyday and more and more people are loosing their house. Bush will be there to bail out the banks but will he be there to help the people that lost their houses.

Apr 22, 2008 at 09:04 AM : I try not to hand out...

I try not to hand out money if I can. I have before, but normally I prefer to buy them food if they are saying they are hungry or buy them something to drink.

I have had a man ask me for money before to get food. When I offered to go get food with him he told me," No, I just want the money." I didn't give him any. Now once on a trip to Vegas my husband and I were on our way back to our hotel after buying some beer from the liquor store. A homeless man approached us and asked if he could have a beer.....he got one. Now if he had asked for money he probably wouldn't have gotten any but since he was upfront and willing to ask for a beer we had no problems giving him one.

Apr 22, 2008 at 09:04 AM : A while back when I...

A while back when I was working in Bako I always stop at the same store after work to get a snack and the same homeless guy was always there. One day I bought him a beer and I did that every day for a couple of months until my job moved. He always said thanks and we made small talk. And every time that I drove away I thanked my luck stars that I have what I have.

Apr 22, 2008 at 10:04 AM : well said bigdog

well said bigdog

Apr 22, 2008 at 10:04 AM : Hey Julie Olivia says...

Hey Julie Olivia says hi and so do I. How are you?

Apr 23, 2008 at 11:04 AM : i am headed your way...

i am headed your way for my kids wedding this weekend...cant wait. I am good, working etc

Apr 28, 2008 at 04:04 PM : I would give this man...

I would give this man a dollar or two.........................

Apr 29, 2008 at 07:04 PM : I always trust my...

I always trust my instincts, say a little prayer and give when I feel led. There have been times I really knew I was supposed to give to someone and times when I really knew I wasn't supposed to. When I do give I feel like I am being obedient and doing as I am commanded and if the person uses the money wrongly then that's on them, I did as I felt led.

There have been times however that I knew money wasn't the thing to give to that particular person so I gave them shoes or a coat or something. One time some people asked me for money to buy diapers. So I told them I would go get some and I would be right back. I asked the baby's size and went around the corner and bought 2 big boxes of diapers and when I returned they we gone-- I don't think they really needed diapers.

So I think God, (whoever that is to you) will give you guidance and leading if you look for it.

Apr 30, 2008 at 10:04 AM : I'm new here and...

I'm new here and just wanted to give my two cents - I've given money to the homeless on the side of the road before... actually I had a similar situation as Alcoholic (the first post)... his sign actually said, "Will work for beer." I gave him a few bucks just for being real - that was many years ago. Since then I've taken to buying them a meal from a fast food place... I'll purchase the meal and then just hand it to them. I figure they'll either choose to eat it, or just throw it away.

I think that missions are awesome!

Apr 30, 2008 at 01:04 PM : Many years ago my...

Many years ago my youngest brother lived in Frisco. The homeless problem there was out of control. He would cheerfully give until one Christmas season. One of his staff members had given him a large Christmas tree-shaped glass jar which she had filled with pennies. Granted, my brother should have had it in a bag, but he's one of those super intelligent people who have little common sense, lol. Anyway, as he made his way up the street to his subway station, he was accosted by a homeless man who demanded my brother give him that jar of pennies, he kept telling my brother if he was that rich, it was his duty to give it to him! My brother finally had to get a police officer to get the man to leave him alone. Since then, he refuses to hand money out to any one begging on the street. He lives in Germany now, and he really doesn't have that problem there.

Apr 30, 2008 at 03:04 PM : Starbucks is it...

Starbucks is it because your kids are drug addicts that you don't give money to the needy.

Apr 30, 2008 at 09:04 PM : Wow, anonnymous, thats...

Wow, anonnymous, thats a bit hostile and inflammatory. And probably uncalled for. Where did that come from?

May 1, 2008 at 08:05 AM : Its ok scottos, when...

Its ok scottos, when someone shows their level of intelligence in this way, we all know what their about, but thanks for the backup,,,:)

May 1, 2008 at 04:05 PM : I will never forget...

I will never forget the day that I saw a young mother standing with her children at a large shopping center, with a sign begging for help. My hubbie and I were going through some pretty tight times then, but I knew that I had some extra food at home that I could give her. So I went home and got items which were unopened, packed up nearly two bags, one with food, and one with personal needs ... took them back there to her and told her that I would be praying for her.

She looked at me, then inside of the bag and shook her head and turned away.

That was the last time that I ever did that. I do support our Rescue Missions because I feel that they can do more good with what is given to them and use it for the right reasons .... putting people back up on their feet and working to make themselves a better person. BUT ... knowing how that woman acted when I gave her from a caring heart ... no more will I give directly to someone standing on a corner ... I don't mind taking them and getting them something to eat, but I will not give them money to waste their lives with . . . only to make them better.

NomiAnn

May 2, 2008 at 05:05 PM : from time to time i...

from time to time i might give someone a dollar or some of my spare change. i was in landcaster a while back and an older man was standing on the side of the road somewhat well dressed with a good lookin border collie dog. i gave him a couple of bucks and talked to him while i waited for the light to change, his story was his motor home caught fire and he was looking to get a bus ticket to go back home. (i forget where) so i gave him some money and his dog a milkbone and went on. sometimes you gotta help soeone out. but you gotta take a good look at them and figure out who your dealing with

May 3, 2008 at 11:05 AM : I am very careful who...

I am very careful who I hand a dollar or two to I have seen where a guy gets out of a nice car and walks across the street and gets out his sign that is hid in some bushes and starts the begging. You got to be so careful because many of these guys are pros but I have also seen a woman sitting up against the grocery store with no sign just asking for spare change, she looked homeless and so I went shopping stopped by the deli and bought her a meal and drink so as exited I gave it to her. She thanked me over and over so I felt good that I could feed someone who was down and out, I didn't do it to make myself feel good I did it because I felt she was genuine and just needed some compassion. When I was living in So. Cal I also use to buy the special at this one particular hamburger joint when it was buy one get one free and hand out the second meal to some one who was hungry But handing out money is something I am very careful of just because of the scammers out there.

Jul 1, 2008 at 12:07 AM : Just so ya all know,...

Just so ya all know, many panhandlers are not homeless but do their begging for a living. My cousin says he makes an average of $100.00 a day (tax free). He says it is hard work on a hot day.