AH, TEHACHAPI! - TEHACHAPI SAFETY, SECURITY AND POLITICAL ISSUES - jimr's Blog - Tehachapi News

Mar 25, 2007 at 07:03 AM : lololol I love it...

lololol I love it ... I'm going to send a copy to friends. I'm starting to see you in a different light Jim. I look forward to reading more of your posts. There are very few selfless men who can actually look outside themselves and see the entire world as you do. Your insights and humor are refreshing.

Mar 25, 2007 at 07:03 AM : Thank you, thank you,...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. A pat on the a--(er, back) is always appreciated.

Jim

Mar 25, 2007 at 10:03 PM : Nice post ---- I love...

Nice post ---- I love my little place on this planet.

I was at Blockbuster the other day - that's the Tehachapi branch on Tucker and Valley: the kid in front of me in the check out line was droopy drawer ed, tattooed to kingdom come and swearing (made my swearing look real amateur - and really, I'm pretty good at it) and in casual conversation with his "girlfriend" who had flab dripping over her low riders, boobs hiked up just under her double chin ---,my, my, my. I sound like my mother complaining about my teased up hair. But really - these kids were from ....... where?

I'm real liberal - not accepted in many of these posts - but I found it hard on my soul to see these lost kids. I had to wonder about their proud Tehachapi parents. I find the new attitude of not caring about anyone else's attitude very unsettling. Maybe I'm just crappy tonight.

Mar 25, 2007 at 10:03 PM : Lori, I know exactly...

Lori, I know exactly what you mean. I found that sort of behavior and dress hard to understand even when I was that age. Not that I'm shy of swearing, I usually let it fly with no problem too. But, personally I never thought it was cool to dress like that. I'm not sure where it comes from other than there being a need to make some sort of statement, like trying to fit in with their age group while standing out from stuffy adults. I think it may also stem from lack of self respect, and a lack of understanding of what self respect is. Hopefully those kids will grow out of it.

If you really are crappy tonight, try some Metamucil. Just kidding.

Mar 26, 2007 at 04:03 AM : I am a retired...

I am a retired Criminologist and worked for 5 years at the Lancaster Sheriff's Department where I helped maintain a computerized database of the local Gangs before I moved up here. I am considered a Gangs Specialist. Lancaster and Palmdale are currently in a fighting mode against gangs and the local citizens there have joined forces with law enforcement to sweep the streets clean and drive them out of town. Where do you suppose they will go? Hint...North.

Yes, we are seeing more gang activity up here and more are on the way. We even have local, home-grown gangs. Why do kids join gangs? One of the reasons, and perhaps the biggest one, is for a sense of belonging. Many kids are largely left on their own or completely ignored by their families. So, they join the gangs to have someone who will look out for their interests and someone to hang with. Unfortunately, they are ultimately up to no good deeds and they enable each other. We have to take a proactive approach and be on the lookout for gang activity in Tehachapi. Take pictures of any gang graffiti you see or anything that looks suspicious and turn them in to the authorities. Most people today carry cell phones with camera's. Gang graffiti always leave clues. Some will give the name of the gang and/or their location and the name of the "artist". These taggings are not generally able to be read or deciphered by the average citizen but law enforcement knows how to do it.

We need to connect with todays youth and work with them BEFORE it gets to the point where they want to join a gang. I hear kids all over town complaining "there's nothing to do here". We have to find positive things for them to do, to get involved in, to volunteer to help those in need. A place for them to "hang." Parks and Recreation and sports activities are fine but not all kids are either sports minded or adept. They must all be included in civic minded activities. We must make them feel safe and needed and wanted and useful.

Jim Richards

Mar 27, 2007 at 10:03 AM : You are right Jim -...

You are right Jim - those baggy clothes are gang "take off" and were originally adopted by gangs to hide drugs and weapons. And you are right about parentS input. I see very young children, 4 or 5 years old, dressed up like a gang member. I guess the parents think it is cute. As the kids get older and strike out on their own, they consider deviant behavior the norm.

I've mentioned that I run left of most people on this site, and I can swear and raise a little hell as good as any one I know. BUT - I anayze my audiance, I would never behave badly in a public place and I was taught at an early age and, of course, in the business world, that diplomacy is the best way to get things done, i.e. get what you want.

Our future and upcoming generation is not scary because they wear unattractive clothes but because they don't know how to act in an acceptable manner. How will they rule their/our world? For all the reasons stated by GregL, canibeyou and jimr, these kids need help and unfortunately they don't even know it - and neither do their parents.

I did extensive volunteer work in LA, but my time is consumed with Stallion Springs "goings on" now. I know the library and the Tehachapi Police Department, along with Parks & Rec have programs but parents have to encourage their kids to join these activities. There's the rub.

I think we may have an editorial for the newspaper working itself up here.

Mar 27, 2007 at 02:03 PM : Unfortunately, the...

Unfortunately, the problem is self perpetuating, as the kids who don't care about their appearance or actions grow up and teach their kids to not care, the problem just grows. I work with several 'adults' who think it's cool to wear poor fitting, sloppy clothes and to not shave or wash their hair for two of three days. I swear, I just don't get it. I'm starting to sound like old folks I used to hear when I was a kid! But I think there's a big difference between looking neat and casual, and looking like a bum wearing dirty clothes with holes. I just don't understand the attraction to wanting to look like you woke up on skid row, especially for adults! And then there's the ME ME ME issue of behavior and not taking responsibility for one's actions, but that's a whole other blog!

OK, here comes a pretentious, self righteous statement, but here goes. In general, as I look around and see those that have children and those who don't, I have to say I think the wrong people are procreating! I think I'll duck now as the bullets come flying.

Mar 27, 2007 at 02:03 PM : OK GregL I will be...

OK GregL I will be standing right beside you and that comment!! We can catch the bullets together........ I couldn't imagine going out into public looking like I see some folks I have enough self respect to at least bathe and fix my hair to some extent even if I am just running to the store and at work I dress professional even if I am going casual. My own daughter who I have preached to all her life about how important it is to portray the correct image is falling victim to the lazy slob syndrome her comment is "Why should I bother I'm not trying to impress anyone" I say its a matter of self respect more than anything. I think she does it just to piss me off sometimes. UHG! Kids........

Mar 27, 2007 at 02:03 PM : Hey, Greg and Luv,...

Hey, Greg and Luv, never be afraid of expressing your convictions. Alas, the days of "The Walton's" are gone and will never come back again. It seems that today's "parents" (and I put that in parenthesis deliberately) are no more than Roommates to their kids. It's like they are saying, "you go ahead and live your own life and I'll live mine." It's exactly THAT kind of attitude that makes the GANGS all the more alluring. Somebody to belong to and somebody who gives a damn about you. Bottom line...it's the breakdown of the American Family. In my day it was, "you live under my roof and I pay the bills, you will live by my rules. If you don't accept that, then get the hell out". Again, "Parents" are the real whoosie's in their own kids worlds. Period. End of Report.

Jim Richards

Mar 27, 2007 at 03:03 PM : I see good and bad in...

I see good and bad in what you are talking about LuvMyKatz. On the one hand I would be glad my daughter doesn't feel the need to impress anyone, and is comfortable enough in her own skin to go out looking like that. On the other hand I see what you are saying about self respect. When I was younger I wouldn't leave the house without makeup on and I was dressed accordingly. Several years and three kids later make up is a luxury I often do without. lol

I honestly blame the parents. I mean who do you think buys these clothes for them in the first place. Even when I was working(which was at 16 as soon as I could) and using my own money I still wasn't allowed to buy clothes my parents didn't like. lol I still remember my father throwing a fit because my prom dress had straps and not a full sleeve! lol Ok, so my parents were a bit extreme, but I understood their points. (even if I didn't like it at the time :) )

What happened to respecting one's elders? To knowing what was acceptable in public and what wasn't .To taking your hat off while inside the house or during the NATIONAL ANTHEM for that matter. Or just caring for someone other than yourself in general.

We live in a feel good society. Everything is acceptable. No one wants to ruffle feathers or hurt feelings. You are considered horrible parents and fear being turned in to authorities if you spank your kids. Parents seem to be investing less and less time into their children as they work more and more trying to keep up with the cost of living. Teachers and after school programs are expected to raise their kids for them. If discipline is needed the parents are constantly looking to place blame somewhere else. It's never their kids fault. Accountability for ones actions seems to be non-existent. What do we expect in a world where criminals have the same if not more rights than their victim's do.

Mar 27, 2007 at 05:03 PM : I should have slowed...

I should have slowed down and read most of the posts I was trying to hurry because I had to leave for work. I didn't realize we were talking about the baggy pants wearing gang bangers I was just thinking of how my kid will be lazy sometimes. But let me clarify what I mean by portray the correct image: To me just pulling your hair back and throwing on flip flops is acceptable if you at least take the time to put on jeans and get out of the baggy sweats for going to the store. My daughter will want to wear the sweats with the paint or stains on them out to run errands and that looks sloppy to me for anything other than doing housework. I don't expect my daughter be materialistic or dress in a manor which is uncomfortable to her but I also will not buy anything I feel is in appropriate for her if she wants anything like that she can use her own money and wear it when I am not with her fortunately I don't have to deal with that because she can be more conservative than I am sometimes.

My daughter is almost 20 and not into drugs, not pregnant, honestly the only thing I really have to complain about is she is giving up a good job working at Disney World to come back here and she refuses to go to school and get an education. I don't want her to be stuck here with a no-nothing job just because she is homesick so I guess everything she is doing right now is sensitive to me because I can't get it through her thick head she will regret this decision later. We have been fighting non-stop since she left and this time she won I can't live her life I can only offer my opinion.

***I spanked my kids when they did wrong and praised them when they did good

***I didn't give into their demands when they were little when I said NO

***I was accused by my own mother of being to strict

I feel I am reaping what I sew now since gangs have never even been an issue in our home. I am not a church goer so that had no influence on the upbringing of the kids either but I was their friend when they needed one but most of all I was a parent.

I know I made many mistakes along the way and I think I am still making them so sorry if I gave the impression that my daughter was anything other than a normal teenager I am; just.. like I said above; being negative and sensitive since the time of her return is near. So sorry if I posted about the wrong subject in the wrong blog ~please forgive.....

~Not the Walton's but Not the Osbourne's either...just somewhere in-between~

Mar 27, 2007 at 07:03 PM : Luvmycats &am...

Luvmycats I don't know if being strict helps children or not. My father was very strict so I left home early ,and partied most of my life instead of getting a career. What I do know is that if you feel loved by your father, you will want to be close to him and you will try to do him proud. I didn't feel that love, but I certainly see your love for your daughter in your post.... I envy her. Children will make mistakes, they may get pregnant, they may experience with drugs, but they will make better choices if they communicate with their parents more. They only do this if they feel loved and have trust that you will let them ultimately decide things for themselves. I think it may be a good idea for your daughter to come home... she can go out and get a career next year... and trust me she will. She probably just needs to be near family for a while. I wouldn't discourage her... we never know why our children do what they do. BUT, if you could see the many many children running around on the streets, scared and alone. You would be very glad that your daughter loves you too. just my opinion

Mar 27, 2007 at 08:03 PM : Canibeyou, I...

Canibeyou, I understand completely. We have to take tests for everything, driving, school, jobs, you name it. But any two idiots can have a child, and many do! The breakdown of the family is a real issue. We all know that there are some real great parents and children out there, many fine people indeed. But there are also a lot of idiots, and it seems that the number of idiots increases with each generation.

LuvMyKatz, no need to apologize, but thanks for clarifying. You certainly have some great qualities and it sounds like you've instilled them in your daughter. Don't beat yourself up, I think Sparks is right in suggesting giving her room to make her decisions, things will probably work themselves out. Nobody said life was gonna be easy!

Mar 27, 2007 at 10:03 PM : Oh my goodness, I am...

Oh my goodness, I am afraid I am both guilty of running into town a bit disheveled, because I'd rather get my kid to school on time than look like a fashion model. I have to wear suits most of the time, so frankly, I don't dress up to go shopping or in town just to be seen by someone on the weekends or days off.

AAAH! I have my son that recently threw a tantrum in the market? Am I doomed? I did give him a good tongue lashing when we got to the car, but sometimes a 5 year old can make you want to shrink back in embarrassment in a public place, and they know it too. Anyone who has kids has probably experienced this at one point or another. I do spank him on the butt when it is well deserved, but I also find that taking away things he really likes work well too.

I despise the baggy gang banger look, and the teens seem to really want to look like something from Mars these days. It's up to their parents. I also think there has to be some leeway on how they dress, at that age, because if you are too strict it will come back to bite you. If a kid is doing well in school and staying out of trouble, I'd probably let them put a splash of purple or pink in their hair if they earned it. Teens at that age are just looking to express themselves. Think back to when you were a teen. I used to wear army boots and fatigues, but I was a straight A student.

I have also found that if you look too good on the outside, your inside just might need a bit of housecleaning.

Mar 27, 2007 at 10:03 PM : Oh good Christine! I...

Oh good Christine! I thought I was the only one! lol I think my kids are pretty well behaved but they have their moments. After all they are 5,4 and 2 and will act that way at times. Next time you have to listen to a youngster cry for a while longer than you would like please take into consideration that the parents ARE taking control of the situation. What is it teaching them if you just give in to their tantrums? To be honest I'd rather let my kid throw a fit than give in to their demands. Now if we are at dinner or something like that we are talking about a whole different situation.

Mar 28, 2007 at 06:03 AM : Christine... ...

Christine... I love the way you see things. I agree 100%

Mar 28, 2007 at 08:03 AM : Thanks GregL and...

Thanks GregL and Sparks for the words of encouragement I am such a worry wart sometimes even my mom is saying just let her be and relax, but all I can see is that same kid coming home and going into her room to vegetate from the world of responsibility. She doesn't drive and I think thats the clincher right there I can't tote her around all over town and we live out by the prison so there is no bus that comes that way. So basically I have told her if she plans to come home she will HAVE to learn to drive no excuses period....heck I even told I would give her my old car let's hope that's an incentive to get over whatever reason she has not to want to drive..

Sparks its funny you mention the love of a father. I remember the day my dad walked out the door never to return I was 7yrs old, I guess being a dad and having responsibilities was just to much for him to handle. I never heard from or saw him from that day I don't know if he is dead or alive; to me he died that day. I never thought about him much growing up and I don't blame any of my problems on his leaving. I had my rough spots in my youth, I experimented with drugs but luckily never got hooked I blame that on just being young and because of a generational gap not talking about it with my mom back then it wasn't common to talk about drugs with parents. I guess I knew where I screwed up when I was young and I passed on the knowledge to my kids by being open to talk with them. I realize now that I had the love of my mother and my step-father who came into my life when I was about 11 and they provided the stability I needed to get through being a teenager/young adult. I can only hope my husband and I have given our kids this stability to make it through the rough spots too.

To add to this since I just go to page 2 of the comments

1. I never said Fashion model I said respectable which to means clean and not looking like a slob. We have all seen the lady with the rollers in her hair now come on please.

2. I agree that kids need times to vent and parents are in control when they ignore it sometimes. Its those parents who let their kids run all over the store screaming and acting like brats that I can't stand. I would remove my child from the store and deal with it outside. Kids know you mean business when you simply remove them, look them square in the eye and tell them no, and other times it takes a swat on the backside to make your point.

Mar 28, 2007 at 11:03 AM : Lighten up Canibeyou,...

Lighten up Canibeyou, nothing wrong with looking decent, but usually when someone looks too good to be true, they are. What is in one's heart is more important than what is on the outside.

Haven't you ever met anyone like that, that just looked so perfect, that you instantly know something is dreadfully wrong? I have seen people who have spent so much time and effort on their clothes,makeup, and plastic surgery, that they now look "plastic" Their perfect car, their perfectly good looking husband, the perfect kids, their perfect house, with the little perfect white picket fence, their perfect career, etc. Later we find out they are serial killers, and their kids are strung out on drugs, etc., and that it wasn't all that it appeared to be at all.

Where does one find the time to be so perfect? I only have enough time to be perfectly imperfect, and what you see is what you get.

Mar 28, 2007 at 12:03 PM : I often see this lady...

I often see this lady coming into my office building and she is a poster child for augmentation. She has obviously had several surgeries. The building i work in is glass and every single time she gets close to the building she is looking at herself, checking, fixing, making sure everything is perfect. Even on the elevator she is looking at her reflection in the metal door. It is so sad that she is so obsessed with how she looks that she cant even see anything outside of herself. Man...give me a t shirt and pajama bottoms anyday!!!

Mar 28, 2007 at 12:03 PM : Jewels~ I have a...

Jewels~

I have a confession, that is my favorite thing to wear and sleep in, mens pajama pants and a t-shirt as long as I am just working around the house or the barn. By the time I finish all my barn work, I have to take a shower and change to go anywhere anyway. Too Funny! LOL!

Mar 28, 2007 at 01:03 PM : Jewels me...

Jewels me too... I want to be comfortable. I take great pride in my t-shirt and pajama bottoms. lol I think everyone should dress however they feel comfortable. The people who will judge you aren't worth worrying about anyway, plus it will give them something else to bitch about. lol If my mom had it her way i would have been in uniform every day. I do brush my hair before i head into town, but If I am working in the garden and have my soiled garden clothes on... I'm not going to change them just to please everyone. I am who I am and yes I do work in the yard. (smile)

Mar 28, 2007 at 02:03 PM : I can understand and...

I can understand and empathize with what some of you ladies are talking about being "presentable". As a man (and I hope "gentleman") I have the same or similar expectations. Even if I am only going to Albertson's to buy a couple of items, I look in the mirror and see someone who is in disheveled clothes and needs a shave. So, I take a quick shave (maybe even a shower) and change of clothes, and venture forth. Nobody in the world knows the difference.....BUT I DO! That's a large part of what the kids (and many parents) lack today...it's called SELF ESTEEM!

Jim Richards

Mar 28, 2007 at 10:03 PM : This site went...

This site went crazy. I just love that. My problem is not the mom who ran into Albertsons with her hair pulled back into a pony tail because she was in a hurry. My problem is not the kid who is obviously having a bad day and behaving bratty. That stuff just happens to all of us now and again.

I dislike standing in a line and the kids have purposely put themselves together to look awful. Tatoos, piercings, what appears to be dirty clothes/hair/feet and talking trash. I always think of my really nice grandmother and she wouldn't say a word but, I know, she would be so very embarrassed if she was in line with me. These kids are just rude. But - I know rude adults too.