http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742 A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice', she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have big boobs. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.&nbsp; A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice', she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have big boobs. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.&nbsp; en-us <p>LOL, gotta love it!</p> <br /> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260310 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260310 <p>LOL, gotta love it!</p> <br /> <p>LOL...gotta love us second floor wives!!!</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260317 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260317 <p>LOL...gotta love us second floor wives!!!</p> <p><span style="font-size: larger; ">Oh man, the second floor is the best!</span></p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260325 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260325 <p><span style="font-size: larger; ">Oh man, the second floor is the best!</span></p> <p>LOL! That was a good one!</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260361 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260361 <p>LOL! That was a good one!</p> <p>This is the only time I get to myself! lol I'm a night owl......what can I say.</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260363 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260363 <p>This is the only time I get to myself! lol I'm a night owl......what can I say.</p> <p>Well I definitely like it more than bran that's for sure! :)</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260369 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260369 <p>Well I definitely like it more than bran that's for sure! :)</p> <p>LOL! Well the clock has struck 12:00 and it is now time for me to get a little beauty sleep! My rugrats will be waking me up sooner than I'd like I'm afraid! :) Take care!</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260377 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260377 <p>LOL! Well the clock has struck 12:00 and it is now time for me to get a little beauty sleep! My rugrats will be waking me up sooner than I'd like I'm afraid! :) Take care!</p> <p><span style="font-size: small">Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large&nbsp;raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the&nbsp;first man prayed:<br /> 'God,&nbsp;please give me the strength to cross the river.'<br /> Poof!&nbsp;God gave him big arms and strong legs and&nbsp;he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned&nbsp;twice.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: small">After witnessing that, the second man prayed:&nbsp;'God, please give me </span><span style="font-size: small">strength&nbsp;and the tools to cross the river' Poof! God gave him a rowboat, strong arms and strong legs and he&nbsp;was&nbsp;able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.<br /> <br /> Seeing what happened to the first two men, the&nbsp;third man prayed: 'God, please&nbsp;give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence&nbsp;to cross the river' Poof!&nbsp;He was turned in to a woman. She checked&nbsp;the map,&nbsp;hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.<br /> <br /> <br /> </span><i><b><span style="font-size: larger">'If at first you don't succeed, do it the&nbsp;way your wife told you!'</span></b></i></p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260496 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260496 <p><span style="font-size: small">Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large&nbsp;raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the&nbsp;first man prayed:<br /> 'God,&nbsp;please give me the strength to cross the river.'<br /> Poof!&nbsp;God gave him big arms and strong legs and&nbsp;he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned&nbsp;twice.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: small">After witnessing that, the second man prayed:&nbsp;'God, please give me </span><span style="font-size: small">strength&nbsp;and the tools to cross the river' Poof! God gave him a rowboat, strong arms and strong legs and he&nbsp;was&nbsp;able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.<br /> <br /> Seeing what happened to the first two men, the&nbsp;third man prayed: 'God, please&nbsp;give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence&nbsp;to cross the river' Poof!&nbsp;He was turned in to a woman. She checked&nbsp;the map,&nbsp;hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.<br /> <br /> <br /> </span><i><b><span style="font-size: larger">'If at first you don't succeed, do it the&nbsp;way your wife told you!'</span></b></i></p> <p><span style="font-size: larger; ">Joty, you forgot to mention that the woman stopped to yak on the phone for two hours first! &nbsp;KIDDING!!!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br /> </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: larger; "><br type="_moz" /> </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: larger; ">Spam code: FGGAB (Appropriate!)</span></p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260511 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260511 <p><span style="font-size: larger; ">Joty, you forgot to mention that the woman stopped to yak on the phone for two hours first! &nbsp;KIDDING!!!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br /> </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: larger; "><br type="_moz" /> </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: larger; ">Spam code: FGGAB (Appropriate!)</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: small">Don't be silly Greg...she had a cell phone...she didn't have to stop! ah hahahahahahaaaa!</span>&nbsp;</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260525 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260525 <p><span style="font-size: small">Don't be silly Greg...she had a cell phone...she didn't have to stop! ah hahahahahahaaaa!</span>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="font-size: larger; ">Nice!</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260537 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_260537 <p><span style="font-size: larger; ">Nice!</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.&nbsp;&nbsp;We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /> &nbsp;<br /> </span><i><span style="font-size: small">'THIS BULL MATED <span style="color: #ff0000">50</span> TIMES LAST YEAR'</span></i></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs...smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.' </span></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,<br /> &nbsp;<br /> </span><i><span style="font-size: small">'THIS BULL MATED <span style="color: #ff0000">150 </span>TIMES LAST YEAR' </span></i></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.' </span></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, <br /> in capital letters, </span></span></p> <p><i><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">'THIS BULL MATED <span style="color: #ff0000">365</span> TIMES LAST YEAR' </span></span></i></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day!! You could REALLY learn something from this one.'</span></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.' </span></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.</span></span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_261480 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_261480 <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.&nbsp;&nbsp;We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /> &nbsp;<br /> </span><i><span style="font-size: small">'THIS BULL MATED <span style="color: #ff0000">50</span> TIMES LAST YEAR'</span></i></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs...smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.' </span></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,<br /> &nbsp;<br /> </span><i><span style="font-size: small">'THIS BULL MATED <span style="color: #ff0000">150 </span>TIMES LAST YEAR' </span></i></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.' </span></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, <br /> in capital letters, </span></span></p> <p><i><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">'THIS BULL MATED <span style="color: #ff0000">365</span> TIMES LAST YEAR' </span></span></i></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day!! You could REALLY learn something from this one.'</span></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.' </span></span></p> <p><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS"><span style="font-size: small">My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.</span></span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>LOL, that's a good one.  For all you old bulls laughing your butts off....the same goes for the old cows.  : )</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_261514 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_261514 <p>LOL, that's a good one.  For all you old bulls laughing your butts off....the same goes for the old cows.  : )</p> <p>Mmmmooooooo!</p> <p>GregL...the woman wasn't just &quot;yakking!&quot; She was obviously doing research. How do you think she knew where the bridge was? First she&nbsp;tried to download GoogleMaps to her iPhone, but her internet connection failed. So she called&nbsp;her best&nbsp;friend after&nbsp;thoughtfully&nbsp;sending her a photo of her wearing the totally cute hiking boots she got on Ebay, just to&nbsp;comemorate&nbsp;her first&nbsp;hiking experience.&nbsp;Although the&nbsp;friend politely&nbsp;disguised her disdain for&nbsp;footwear with laces and&nbsp;clunky heels,&nbsp;she&nbsp;just happened to recognize the&nbsp;location from&nbsp;another Earthy-type friend's honeymoon pictures (opposites do attract!). So the best&nbsp;friend&nbsp;called up the newlyweds and asked them to send her a trail map of the area which she sent as a JPEG&nbsp;just as&nbsp;the lady hiker's internet connection was clear of&nbsp;migrating sunspots.&nbsp;&nbsp;Simple really.</p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_261521 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_261521 <p>Mmmmooooooo!</p> <p>GregL...the woman wasn't just &quot;yakking!&quot; She was obviously doing research. How do you think she knew where the bridge was? First she&nbsp;tried to download GoogleMaps to her iPhone, but her internet connection failed. So she called&nbsp;her best&nbsp;friend after&nbsp;thoughtfully&nbsp;sending her a photo of her wearing the totally cute hiking boots she got on Ebay, just to&nbsp;comemorate&nbsp;her first&nbsp;hiking experience.&nbsp;Although the&nbsp;friend politely&nbsp;disguised her disdain for&nbsp;footwear with laces and&nbsp;clunky heels,&nbsp;she&nbsp;just happened to recognize the&nbsp;location from&nbsp;another Earthy-type friend's honeymoon pictures (opposites do attract!). So the best&nbsp;friend&nbsp;called up the newlyweds and asked them to send her a trail map of the area which she sent as a JPEG&nbsp;just as&nbsp;the lady hiker's internet connection was clear of&nbsp;migrating sunspots.&nbsp;&nbsp;Simple really.</p> <p><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS">Proof that Men Have Better Friends...<br /> &nbsp;<br /> <u>Friendship among Women</u>:<br /> A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning&nbsp;she told her husband that she had slept over at a&nbsp;friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.</span></span></p> <p><u><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS">Friendship among Men</span></span></u><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS">:<br /> A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he&nbsp;told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's&nbsp;house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.&nbsp;Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.<br /> </span></span></p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_261675 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_261675 <p><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS">Proof that Men Have Better Friends...<br /> &nbsp;<br /> <u>Friendship among Women</u>:<br /> A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning&nbsp;she told her husband that she had slept over at a&nbsp;friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.</span></span></p> <p><u><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS">Friendship among Men</span></span></u><span style="font-size: small"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS">:<br /> A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he&nbsp;told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's&nbsp;house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.&nbsp;Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.<br /> </span></span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">Their biggest fear was that there was no after life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, 'Judy ..Judy.': </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Is that you, Steve?' </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Yes, I've come back like we agreed.'</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">&nbsp;'That's wonderful! What's it like?' </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch - you'd be proud - lots of greens; another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.' </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Oh, Steve you surely must be in Heaven!' </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Not exactly ... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona ' </span></p> http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_264419 http://www.tehachapinews.com/home/Blog/olivia/28742/#c_264419 <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">Their biggest fear was that there was no after life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, 'Judy ..Judy.': </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Is that you, Steve?' </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Yes, I've come back like we agreed.'</span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">&nbsp;'That's wonderful! What's it like?' </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch - you'd be proud - lots of greens; another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.' </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Oh, Steve you surely must be in Heaven!' </span></p> <p><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'MS Sans Serif'">'Not exactly ... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona ' </span></p>