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Life and my ideas of her assimilate inside me at times without my knowledge. Innate defense mechanisms naturally conceal painful experiences via denial, lies and suppression, while other survival instincts foolishly embrace pleasures regardless of the consequences.  This is normal, however a fragile mind often requires an opaque retreat in which  to shelter it from the glare of sentience. Inebriants obscure the sharp edges and smooth a long and jarring journey through life.  While sober, the need to forget ones experiences are required frequently.  Cowardly, I have acquired much of my reality by self inflicted illusions and untruths for the sake of self-protection and peace of mind.  Inevitably, my reality is difficult to comprehend. Oh, but how exciting confusion is while intoxicated.   Recently I have become acquainted with neurosis. I am completely lost and severely weakened by a personal void and a severe lack of toxins. This is the price one...
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