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 gillfish my heart go's out to you. I don't think grieving is self pity. I think Grieving is a neutral process that one must go through to totally except a loss. We all grieve in our own way. Some people grieve for a long time while others grieve for a short time, but we all grieve. If the grieving becomes a problem then you might want to seek out help. That help could be professional or just a really good friend. Talking really helps. Talking takes some of the power away from the problem.  Also taking total responsibility is a must if you want to quit drinking. You cant blame any one but yourself and even then you have to learn to forgive yourself for all the shitty things you did to yourself and others.
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