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What is the single biggest error that couples make in getting help from counselors or pastors? In my experience, it's that couples wait until things have become desperate before seeking help. When meeting with couples for the first time, I have often heard comments such as, “I told him I would divorce him unless we came to counseling.” Or, “This is our last chance to save the marriage.” But if things have gotten that bad, there is so much hurt, so much resentment, and so much hopelessness that it may be almost impossible to fix the mess. Going to counseling when you're ready to leave your partner is like going to the doctor after the cancer has spread throughout the body, instead of making a doctor's appointment at the very first sign of a problem. How much easier and more successful couples counseling would be if couples came for help early in the marriage, when love, trust, and hope are still strong. Often it's the man who resists going to counseling...
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