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I often surf the Internet to find new theories about good health habits, as if this will help a guy who is less than a year from turning 80. As I drink my Corona and munch on a hamburger, I flit from one website to another, searching for the fountain of youth that Ponce de Leon never was looking for. That's right. The experts now say that Ponce, who was something of a mystic, was seeking spiritual rebirth or whatever as he schlepped around Florida centuries ago. His associates gave up trying to understand Ponce's doubletalk and the fountain of youth gag was born. But that's off the subject of my sermon today. Getting back to healthy living. I just finished an article by some weirdo who has sworn off eating fruits and vegetables. Yep. He's been totally carnivorous for nearly 20 years now and he swears he has never felt better. He claims his high degree of physical fitness has been confirmed by a mob of specialists who have given him every kind of test ever invented. If he still...
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