Country wisdom
Country wisdom
By: Carole Clark, Ph.D.
Description: Change with the in-laws, imaginative children and puppies
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Posted by editor Tue Nov 30, 1999 00:00:00 PST
Viewed 847 times
0 responses 0 comments Wisdom of the week: One of the surest signs of emotional maturity and responsibility is the acknowledgement that we can’t blame our past for what we’re doing in the present.
Dear C.C.: My husband’s parents recently visited us and I was surprised at how they had changed. I thought retirement was supposed to be a plus but my husband’s parents don't seem willing to do many of the things we loved doing together before. What can I do to get them back into our world the way it used to be?
Dear Daughter-in-law: I would consider neither age nor retirement behind your in-law’s inactivity. The age-old truism says that if you’re not expanding and growing, you're hurting only yourself. People can’t stand the thought of aging but it’s usually the crystallized thought patterns and inflexible mind-sets that age people before their time. Use your skills to open and expand the minds of your in-laws to the many exciting opportunities that are now out there for them to do. This can be the most wonderful time of their lives. Bring your enthusiasm and love for life to light. With your encouragement, you can watch them blossom into the grandparents that you want.
Dear C.C.: My 6 year old still lives in a dream world. I don’t want to destroy her imagination but I’m wondering if she’s just not comfortable with the real world. She’s not as grounded s her older brothers. Any suggestions?
Dear Mom: Albert Einstein has many times said, “The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent or absorbing positive knowledge.” It was when he let his mind drift, that his genius was able to come through from out of nowhere. I would imagine that your daughter has access to the best of both worlds.
Dear C.C.: My in-laws are in their 80s and will soon need assisted living. The problem is that they want a dog, which means that sooner or later it will fall upon us to take the dog. We honestly don’t want one. Are we being selfish?
Dear parents: Actually, you would be wiser to assure them that they’ll have one. The influence of animals, dogs in particular, is remarkable. Their energy is often pure love, which will do much for both the attitude and health of your in-laws. Finding a home later for the pooch? That bridge can be crossed when it comes.
Questions can be mailed to Country Wisdom, Tehachapi News, P.O. Box 1840, Tehachapi CA 93581, e-mailed to editorial@tehachapinews.com or dropped of at the Tehachapi News Office, located at 411 N. Mill St.
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