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Good leaders are always the best listeners
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Posted by editor Fri Apr 21, 2006 11:57:46 PDT
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0 responses 0 comments Leaders are great talkers. They’re able to give rousing speeches that motivate the troops into a frenzy of action.

Actually, it’s not like that at all in the real world. Now it is true that leaders are great communicators. But far too many in leadership roles confuse talking with communicating.

Think about it. Nothing’s more irritating than someone in love with the sound of their own voice and the profoundness of their own speech making. You know the kind — the ones who tell you what you want before you ever have the opportunity to state it. The ones who pontificate on and on about how you’re going to take over the world and you haven’t the foggiest of what their plan to do so actually is.

Good leaders know the value of listening

They listen to their peers in their industry. They realize the shared experience of others practicing the same craft is priceless. Poor leaders love to tell how they do it, even if they’re mediocre at it.

Good leaders listen to their customers. They know the feedback from their client base is invaluable. Bad leadership loves to tell their customers how good they (the company or organization) are. This is an especially laughable practice when the customers are shaking their heads wondering, “Don’t these people even have a clue?”

Competent leaders seek input from their work force. They know the people involved with the product or service on an everyday basis have a unique perspective. They should know that it’s these people who know best whether the company is performing excellently. They have a good vantage point to watch their fellow employees on the job. They know if things are being done excellently. Or if there’s just a lot of talk about doing things excellently.

I, myself, have been a far better talker than listener. I’m not proud to admit this. But in writing this column, I have decided that the only person I have the liberty to expose is myself. However, let me be quick to point out that although I’ve confessed to this shortcoming in my own checkered history, I’ve observed this is sadly the norm.

We confuse talk with substance

Try this: the next time you’re in a non-crucial situation (one that won’t spell the doom of your enterprise or organization if you blow it) like a Rotary committee meeting or running into a casual, but friendly acquaintance at Walgreen’s, let them do the talking.

“Eek!”, I can hear you screaming, “If I leave it up to the other guy, there won’t be any conversation.”

You’re right, of course. There’s nothing passive about true listening. You see, far too many of us aren’t even listening when the other gal is talking. We’re composing our “lines” for delivery as soon as the other pauses to catch his breath. Don’t laugh. I swear it’s true that a ridiculous number of conversations are nothing more than actors pretending to listen to each other just waiting to get a break to deliver their own lines.

True listening actually cares what the other person says

 And nothing could make any one of us feel more important than someone hanging on our every word. Stop and think about it: those we label as brilliant conversationalists are actually brilliant listeners. They’re the ones who give us the feedback that they enjoy hearing us. They laugh at our feeble attempts at humor. They feel our pain. They urge us on because they’re giving all they have to paying attention to us.

Admit it! You’d follow the person who thinks you’re smart, charismatic and good looking just about anywhere. That’s just how you feel when someone gives you their complete, undivided, uninterrupted attention.

The bottom line is this: when you know what’s important to someone, you begin to understand that person. And if you truly cherish that understanding and act in good faith to not violate that understanding, you’ll be able to count on that person through hick and high water.

Now you can begin to lead. Because when you turn around to look, somebody might just be following.

Mark Moore is a Chartered Financial Consultant with Q4 Insurance & Financial Services, Inc. Securities and Advisory Services offered through Commonwealth Financial Network, Member NASD/SIPC. Your feedback is valued. Email Mark at MarkM@Q4Financial.net.

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