I read somewhere that only about 8 percent to 10 percent of all New Year's resolutions are ever actually kept.
That was good enough for me, so I started to come up with some. Not for me, mind you. They're for other people, who might benefit from them.
My rate of success is way too low to bother.
So, here goes:
(1) When you're at a game, any game, try putting down your cell phone for a minute. Take your selfies before or after, and keep in mind that most of your social media contacts probably don't think it's nearly as cute as you do that you're at a Condors game.
This is especially important at baseball games if you're sitting in any area where foul balls might be struck. Failure to follow this simple rule will require you to send additional selfies later from your oral surgeon's office.
(2) If you know someone — or know someone who knows someone — who's never been to a live sporting event, get them to one. I'm not talking about a Little League game, but an event with bleachers and hot dog vendors and rowdy fans.
Nobody ever forgets the first time they were in a big stadium or arena for a game.
(3) Don't be a fair-weather fan. Be willing to suffer through the lean years and never give up hope. If you loved the Braves when they were good, hang in there. If you loved the Joe Montana 49ers, don't give up on the them now.
If you loved Bartolo Colon when he was skinny, don't despair. There's just more of him now to love.
Fair-weather fans who jump ship at the first signs of stormy weather are nobody's fan.
(4) Try not to be a negative rooter. Go ahead and root like heck for your own team, but don't root against teams just because you hate them — except for the Dallas Cowboys, of course. Or, maybe the New England Patriots.
Obviously, the Yankees are an exception, as well, along with the Washington Nationals, and maybe a few others.
(5) No matter how much you love your Clayton Kershaw jersey, leave it home when you go to Petco Park for a Mets-Padres game. Wearing irrelevant team gear to a game shows a lack of social grace or refinement.
Along the same vein, wearing jerseys with the names of marginal players who have been retired more than 20 years is just crass.
(6) If you're an avid hockey fan, try keeping it to yourself.
(7) If there's a player on your fantasy league team who is not performing well, and you happen to be at a game where he is playing, try to remember that he doesn't actually work for you.
Neither he nor anyone else, for that matter, cares that he's destroyed your entire franchise, and you can't really fire him. So, sit and suffer.
(8) No matter how much you love the game of soccer, stop trying to convince your friends that it's really called football. We don't care what they call it in England or anywhere else in the world.
Here, it's soccer. Capiche?
John Nelson spent 27 years with the Associated Press in New York, covering sports all over the world, and was the AP's national baseball writer for 10 years. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.